Sheila's Posts

I can’t promise you much, but this ought to be enough tracks. ↓

End of Story ↑

[The self-portrait was accomplished by wedging my camera in a tree.]

Most adults probably establish personal boundaries automatically and therefore take that skill for granted. Only those who don’t do so, know how much of a challenge it is to discern the often times subtle difference between creating and maintaining boundaries versus explaining and defending yourself. Without experience, there will be many mistakes in how, when, and where boundary building is done.

I can only guess that most neurotypicals have no problem with immediately discerning and applying the ideal incremental value of sternness necessary to get respect from the person they’re relating with. I’m sure how one is raised has a lot to do with how good s/he is at getting respected by others.

Being that I have the typical ‘all or nothing’ Aspie mind, I tend to bring out a bag of bricks by the time I notice that others are not seeing my boundaries. The trespassers are then shocked by the hard force I hit them with, because they didn’t heed the multiple gentle breezes warning them to keep off my tender territory.

The only motive I have to improve my social skills is survival. I’ve stopped expecting friendships.  Generally speaking, (from what I experience) most people do not care enough to understand how not to take as much offense as they do. I (almost always) fail to get people to respect me.

When I give hints, the hints are ignored. When I am straightforward, then I am avoided. At least my boundaries are not crossed anymore. Plus, I don’t have to put up with feeling like my words have no meaning. I know I’m somebody when I make such an impact that people work to avoid me.

That sure doesn’t typically happen in the case when an Aspie adult is practicing how to gain respect from socially seasoned individuals. Instead, what happens is the opposite, especially when an inexperienced Aspie establishes boundaries.

More often than not, when people violate our boundaries it’s because we have let them and when we try to establish them after the fact, these people may themselves take offense, which in turn can result in a negative response.

Last Monday’s post Explanations destroy respect? maybe should have been written as a book instead. It’s very, very difficult for me to put my thoughts into brief words knowing how differently they will be interpreted because of the infinite variety of people there are on the internet. I could write books, but they’d never be ready for publication. I’d never finish editing them thanks to continuously having new thoughts from new information. Add to that, its chapters would be as disorganized as my posts.

Why do people assume someone enjoys writing if they’re not getting paid to do it? I don’t get paid money to blog and I usually don’t enjoy it either. I don’t need to explain. My statement is either accepted or its not, just like mostly everything else I say. I also don’t enjoy being so blunt and/or harsh as much as I am. I’m tempted to say why I’m not as gentle as I once was, but I won’t.

I had been thinking about going to a GRASP¹ meeting for over a couple of years, but didn’t actually pray about God’s will on the matter until just recently. I was surprised by many things, starting with actually attending. Because of my sensitivity towards excess noise, smells, and artificial lights, New York City alone will give me a headache. Add to that, being with a group of strangers for a couple of hours (especially having to talk with everyone else listening), is definitely outside of my comfort zone.

The last time I was in New York City was between 2-3 decades ago. Yesterday’s trip was my third time for being in that city in my life. Not surprisingly, I was beyond sensory overload by the time the GRASP meeting was over. Besides a headache, the usually outcome for me is that my mind starts to bog down from overload. I don’t appear much different from my normal self on the outside, but inside my head I increasingly feel like I’m shutting down… struggling to keep up with what’s going on around me.

Was it worth it for me to go? Yes. It was an indescribable experience to be among so many of my own kind. I’m still in WOW mode. Needless to say, I hardly slept at all after getting home far past midnight. I cannot stop thinking about what it was like to be with so many whom I could relate with and who could relate with me. I will never look at the neurotypical world again the same way.

I sort of felt that same way the first time I went to a meeting in my local area for adult Aspies in the early part of 2007. I thought that was an amazing experience too, especially since it was new to me. I got used to being around the other Aspie members in our little group that has ranged between 4 to 16 attending per meeting (possibly around 30 have attended at least once). To be in a room with around 40 Aspies² left quite an impression I’ll probably never forget!

It’s not so much the quantity of Aspies in one place, but rather the unique and impressive qualities of each individual that struck me as awesome.

Now I really can see how easy it is for neurotypicals to have their way with Aspies and why most will never want to accept us the way we are. There’s probably a lot more I could say, but not in this post today. It’s just the way that it is for a firm fermentor.

¹GRASP is The Global and Regional Asperger Syndrome Partnership. The meeting I attended last night was located in Manhattan at 339 West 24th Street, New York, NY. There were around 40 Aspies at that meeting. Its main office is located at 666 Broadway, Suite 830, New York, NY 10012.

²Most Aspies don’t seem to come to most meetings, so if every Aspie member showed up the same night, it would probably be quite a big crowd. I can’t speak for GRASP, but I can say the local group I attend has many members that show up only about one-quarter of the time throughout the year. There are only a few who are there for almost every meeting.

I just recently learned that explaining yourself to others can cause them to lose respect towards you. No one ever pointed that out to me before. It wasn’t until I recently finished reading a book on child training when I realized that the same principle behind the way parents should be towards their children is the same way healthy relationships between adults are maintained. Children must first show signs of respect towards their parents before they are allowed the privilege of gaining an explanation for why their parents do what they do. To give an explanation when the child wants it rather than giving it when the parent deems s/he is ready to receive it subtly empowers the child and weakens respect towards the parent. When you’re guilty of trespassing the boundary of another individual in a relationship, then an explanation is required if there is to be any hope for reconciliation. The reason for so much chaos between Aspies and neurotypicals has a lot to do with their differing sides to the Golden Rule of doing unto others as you would have others do unto you.

In a society where Aspergers is not honorable,¹ the more Aspies explain themselves to neurotypicals, the less neurotypicals will respect them.

Unless respect already is displayed towards Aspies, Aspies are only digging their hole deeper by explaining themselves.² If this was not so, then neurotypicals would be publishing books to explain their weird and illogical behavior to Aspies. I don’t hate NTs, but I also don’t respect most of them either because of how often they’re constantly violating my boundaries. It’s time for Aspergers to be respected as much as neurotypicalism is. The only way I can see equality manifesting itself would be if communication became a two-way street. So far, what mostly exists on the magazine racks, books stores, televised media, and newspapers, is one-way only. Crap… now that I’ve said all this, I don’t have a clue what to do with all that I’ve already explained about Aspergers on my blog and website! Until I can assimilate the new information festering in my mind, it’s probably best I don’t change anything.

¹It is not honorable to be written about in the American Psychiatric Association’s Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders.

²Especially to most who are involved in the mental health industry and mega organizations like Autism Speaks.

Postscript — I will reiterate my version of the Miranda Warning I posted for Aspies last Jan. 8th, 2009:

Aspies [You] have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a neurotypically controlled society [court of law]. You have the right to have an understanding neurotypical who loves you [attorney] present during questioning. If you cannot find [afford] anyone who loves you [an attorney], one [will] NOT be appointed for you. Do you understand these rights?

I’m a 55 year old¹ wife, mother, and grandmother who also is an Asperger individual. I don’t like to introduce myself as being a person with Asperger’s syndrome, because that presentation perpetuates the myth that Aspergers is a sickness that needs to be cured.

Because it took me almost my entire life before I learned what it was about me that was so different from everyone else, I ended up protected from being fooled by all the harmful myths already rooted into the public eye about Aspergers when I finally discovered the syndrome named Aspergers.

Even the word “syndrome” is destructive to an Asperger image. Hans Asperger originally used the term to mean, “a complex of concurrent things,” but today’s medical profession has twisted it to mean, “a pattern of symptoms indicative of some disease.” If that’s not bad enough, adding the word “diagnosis” to the package subtly twists Aspergers further into the harmful image of an illness and/or problem.

My search for answers caused me to earn a college degree in psychology (after already gaining one in business administration and graphic design), but it still took me 19 more years of independent studies devoted to how the human body and mind works before things finally fell in place. During a large portion of those 19 years, I also applied my education towards successful homeschooling. This is one reason why I cringe when I hear Aspergers being referred to as a disability. The only thing that usually ever disables me from being successful is the ignorance, lack of sufficient wisdom, and pride others too often have. Those often are the things which cause wrong judgments to be made of me before even being acquainted with who I am.

My family has told me, “Unless people are forced to know you, they never become aware of who you are.” It’s as if I’m guilty until I can prove I’m innocent, but the problem is no one is motivated to stick around long enough to give me a chance to do so. As a result of that, my husband and children are the only ones who are familiar with the benefits of having me around.

It’s a wonderful asset to have a knack for seeing people without their being aware of what is being detected about them, especially when they think you’re the one who is mind-blind!

Before there was an awareness of Asperger’s existence in my family, my positive traits from AS were seen in a negative light. The reason was due to gross misunderstandings that caused misjudging. It took me at least one year of teaching my family about Aspergers before they could begin to understand my characteristic traits in a proper perspective.

I was fortunate to have found a group of Asperger adults, who meet twice a month, close to where I live. Getting acquainted with others in this group was one of the best experiences I’ve had in my life! What made it so mentally healthy for me was how independent it was from any mental health organization. I attended for 2 years and 8 months (April ’07—Dec ’09). As of 3.22.10, I don’t know if it still exists. Moving on for me reflects my diminishing interest in Aspergers.

It is my desire that I can make constructive use of my past to enable a greater understanding of Asperger’s syndrome that others might otherwise not be aware of. More than that, I hope sharing my faith encourages individuals to trust in Christ. I have no complaints about God designing me to be an Aspie. I trust Him; it’s humans who can be unreliable.

Not too long ago, I wasted hours of time listening to a neurotypical mother, of a 17 year old Aspie, lecture me about Aspergers. Her son was diagnosed at age three. Immediately upon that diagnosis, she began a support group for mothers of children on the spectrum and continued with leading those group meetings for over another dozen years. Because of her involvement in this area, she convinced herself she knows more about Aspergers than people like me who lived as an Aspie for over a half a century. There was no way she was going to listen to anything I had to say. People say Aspies are socially rude. This woman was completely blind to (or totally ignoring) her attitude of superiority towards me.

One reason I can say this with confidence is because of how much I’ve learned by being able to exchange information with my grown-up neurotypical daughter who also shares an intense interest in this field of study. Before having children of her own, she gained experience working with children on the spectrum by being a teacher’s aid in a private school for special education.

Throughout most of my life, I was brainwashed into believing I was unattractive, permanently gullible, and not too smart → all that on top of being convinced I was to blame for everything that didn’t ‘work’ in my life. I had no inkling about how Asperger’s syndrome was affecting my life. No one did.

This mystery I was born to solve on my own led me through a journey unlike what most people could possibly begin to comprehend. The worst thing about Asperger’s syndrome is that people can choose to ignore its existence because it’s not something visible to the typical person. This leaves the door wide open for others to criticize and make fun of an AS class of thinker endlessly when s/he is unaware of AS’s existence. It’s not too bad for those in the AS class who are blessed with growing up in a loving family environment where they can feel safe and accepted for who they are. It’s hell on earth for Aspies who must endure being raised without any emotional safety havens that people who are accepting and loving can provide.

People are not so quick these days to take advantage of, criticize, and/or make fun of someone obviously different physically (e.g., wheelchair bound, blind, deaf, burn victim, etc.). Since AS is so invisible to most people and difficult to prove to those who love to remain ignorant and skeptical (or those who don’t have the mental capacity to comprehend something as complex as AS), AS remains as the last frontier to overcome in regards to bigotry and bias.

I realize I am extremely skeptical about humanistic counselors. I confidently express strong cautions about the mental health profession that tend to come across negative. It is difficult for most readers to understand why this is, unless they’ve been in similar shoes.

When I began to seek help and counsel in my life as a young adult because of always knowing something was askew about the way my life was going, I was a fantastic magnet for trouble. Male therapists could quickly surmise my vulnerabilities and then proceed with their attempts at taking advantage of me sexually. They felt safe because I had little to no concept about what was going on. They probably believed that no one would believe me if I was to tell them my story because I did not appear to be retarded. According to others, “I asked for it.” It didn’t help matters that it was obvious no one in my life could understand my odd behavior and thinking; plus, no one would come to my aid and protection if and/or when trouble would brew. My parents did sometimes ‘show up’, but they always sided with ‘authorities’ because pleasing them was more important than trying to understand and/or help me. I was an embarrassment to them and they let me know it throughout my life — sometimes actively revealing it and sometimes by passive behavior (like ignoring my college graduation even though my grades were very good).

Even though female mental health workers were no sexual threat, they did tend to have their own form of control power affecting their egos. The problem was they were unaware of their ignorance. They believed they knew the answers and that’s what made them to be so dangerous.

In my growing up years, most people added to my problems rather than helping me to solve them. The list was endless: teachers, doctors, law enforcement, attorneys, relatives, psychologists, peers, employers, pastors, social service workers, etc. I felt like I was always battling the world by myself. I kept believing I just needed to be ‘nicer’ and then I’d find someone who could and would help me. I went to counselors like an addict… forever searching for someone who could give me answers. The only ones I finally ended up trusting were my pets, and then finally God. They were my anchors. Animals didn’t care how unattractive I felt, nor did they care how intelligent I wasn’t aware of being. I could be happy or sad and still be loved by my pets and by my Heavenly Father.

Gone are my days of suffering and it’s NOT because I’ve been ‘cured’ of Asperger’s. I’ve been ‘cured’ of ignorance! I went from having no confidence for almost half a century to the other end of the scale, without losing sight of where I still have more to learn. I also went from being a suicidally depressed individual who was a walking doormat to being a content concrete wall that others can no longer manipulate. I give God ALL the glory, because He is the only one who guided me through the valley of the shadow of death. I no longer fear evil. I know goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life. God has used books and people for sign posts on the forks of my life’s path, but He didn’t bless me in order for me to bury the treasures I’ve been gifted with.

¹During my 55 years of living, only for the last 3 years have I been able to know I am an Aspie. For many years, I speculated I was one of God’s elect. It wasn’t until 2009 that God finally allowed me to know, without doubt, He did save me.

When you’re an Aspie in a neurotypical world, understanding others and being understood is constant work. It’s even work between two Aspies.

Woopie do!… I watched the third episode of NBC’s Community last Thursday, October 1st.¹ I also saw on the show’s website, in its Message Boards section, an individual insisting that the character Abed cannot possibly be an Aspie based on the fact that he has friends in the show’s plot. It is not normal for an Aspie to have friends, but whoever said that sitcoms completely reflect reality? Despite how unrealistic films can get, treasures can sometimes be dug out when an episode is dissected.

In the Introduction to Film episode, Abed takes an introduction to film class with Britta’s financial help, but must deal with his father’s disapproval. To fully comprehend the significance of my favorite quotes that are from Chapter 3: Family Drama [15:36 to 19:28], the entire video should be seen.

Abed’s Dad didn’t want to financially support Abed to receive an education in film making. Britta didn’t like that, so she donated her money to Abed so he could pursue his passion. Abed then bought expensive film equipment and went wild with his unconventional filming methods, which didn’t include going to film class. Jeff and Britta, along with others in the show, could not figure out why Abed seemed to be acting so irresponsibly. Britta, Jeff, and Abed’s Dad, were angrily at their wit’s end when Abed commanded them all to sit down and view his finished production.

Needless to say, they were all surprised by what they saw (never be too sure about anything when it comes to the way an Aspie thinks). They had no idea Abed was using Jeff to portray his father, while Britta was unknowingly representing Abed’s mother, so he could get his Dad to understand his feelings. After they viewed the emotion stirring video, here are some of their words:

[18:32 to 18:44] Abed’s Dad: “My son is hard to understand. If making movies helps him be understood, then I pay for the class.”

[19:00 to 19:15] Britta: “Abed, did you do all of that to me on purpose? But that’s not a very nice way to treat your friends.” Abed: “Well Britta, it isn’t called friend business. It’s called show business.”

Whatever works is what Aspies do. For me, it wasn’t film. My episode is “Introduction to Blogging” (not on film however). It goes like this:

Sheila takes time for her blogging with David’s financial help, but must deal with her husband’s (and everyone else’s²) disapproval.

David: “My wife is hard to understand. If blogging helps her be understood, then I will stop insisting she use her time leftover from doing chores/duties towards writing potentially popular books to sell.

A neurotypical woman waiting for the head of the household to end his phone conversation before he talks with her: “Sheila, do you work?”

Sheila: “Well Diane, I haven’t broke down yet.”

A 20 yr. old Aspie son wanting his Mom (i.e., me) to watch a funny YouTube video entitled “kids and the marshmallow test” tells her: “Type in kids space…”

Mom automatically types in the search engine’s form window, “kids space” and the kid (i.e., my son watching over my shoulder) bursts out laughing and says, “Mom, I can’t believe you just did that!” Mom replies, “Did what?” A second later, Mom laughs too, after realizing he didn’t mean the word space but rather the space bar on the keyboard.

¹Community is now on at 8 PM EST every Thursday.

²People offline don’t encourage my blogging. It’s as if my blog is taboo to discuss.  People online are the opposite.

Postscript added on 3.5.10 — I’ve probably missed seeing more than half the episodes since Community began to air on NBC, but as of this past Thursday, it appears I was being over-judgmental too soon. I’m glad to see that the main character Abed is being portrayed accurately as an Aspie and is being presented in a positive light.

Those who perceive begging as being a career like any other job you go to work at to gain money do not care what affect they’re having upon others. Rarely do people get acquainted with the hidden attitudes behind professional beggars. If people knew, they wouldn’t be promiscuously charitable.

If I might seem aroused by this subject, it’s because of knowing what a huge difference there is between those who are humbled by unfortunate circumstances, which lead them to temporarily panhandle for survival (with the end result of becoming an improved citizen for society), versus those who arrogantly believe the world owes them whatever they want.

As the rich get richer and the poor get poorer, those who feel grateful for what they have end up being taken advantage of more easily by those who abuse the substance (i.e., charity) others indiscriminately hand to them. Ironically, those begging with right motives and attitudes usually end up receiving the least help because they’re amateurs at playing that game. Panhandling is no different than any other skill that requires serious dedication and practice.

WikiHow even has an article describing How to Panhandle, along with articles on How to Become a Hobo and How to Squat in Abandoned Property¹. They even have one on How to Be Humble.

Not everyone who begs is homeless and not everyone who is homeless is without a home. In fact, there even are employed beggars who panhandle for their masters. Pimps procure customers for their whores and drug dealers obtain customers for their drug manufacturers. Disadvantaged beggars psychologically enslaved to their employers do the footwork time for their masters who are skilled at manipulating people to their advantage. For example, there are deaf people who grow up without having learned how to survive in the world on their own. When they mingle with the deaf who do know how to play the ropes, they fall prey to these predators. Both parties are highly self-deluded. The ones being taken advantage of appreciate having someone to provide them with food, shelter, and clothing too much to be able to realize what’s really going on. The other, who takes advantage, believes s/he is doing them a favor. If that’s not bad enough, add to that mix the predator’s attitude, “Well, if people are that stupid to give me their money, then they don’t deserve to keep it.” When greed takes over, there is no rational thinking or conscience left. Anything and everything the world has is viewed as being for the taking. Benefits received from taxpayer’s money and food stamps can end up going along with other money (gotten by clever ways other than being employed at a traditional job) towards purchasing such things as a corvette, in-ground swimming pool, jewelry, lobsters, vacations, etc. God forbid though if anyone dares to steal from them! They will beat the living daylights out of whoever they catch taking any of their property or anyone who dares to expose them for who they really are.

There are two types of homeless people. The truly homeless are those who typically are responsible individuals and happen to be without a place to live temporarily. There is no shame in misfortune, but those who cause their own misfortune are often a different breed. This other breed of homeless characters actually do have a home; taking the definition of home to mean an environment offering security and happiness. Their home happens to be the streets.

Just because most people feel more secure and happy living in an apartment or house does not mean that everyone feels that way. Transients, bums, hobos, vagrants, etc., can prefer life on the streets because it suits their preferred lifestyle void of commitments and responsibility. They don’t ever want to think they owe anyone anything, but rather feel that others owe them. They aren’t necessarily substance abusers, unless you include (as I do) the abuse of charity in that definition. These liberated individuals find it beneath their dignity to have to prove to anyone, who offers them something for nothing (e.g., shelter), that they’re looking for work. They believe they already have a job [panhandling]. Some of them even turn down well paying, prestigious jobs others would envy just so that they can continue to indulge in their complete freedom. They’ll even refuse opportunities to live in a nice home, even if the one who is providing the offer doesn’t mind that the one turned out to roam has NO interest in ANY admirable job offer.

If ever you experience(d) being without a place to live and lack(ed) what it takes to be arrogant and ungrateful, then you will (would) realize the horrible consequences con artists have on society. The sad thing is too many people don’t care enough until it happens to them personally. What’s worse is that humility has become seductively twisted into being labeled as destructive low self-esteem,² while pride is subtly rewarded as being something to aim for. Just because WikiHow’s page on How to Panhandle tells panhandlers to swallow their pride and be humble, doesn’t necessarily mean it happened. One’s heart is capable of deceiving self, if a thought is wanted badly enough.

Humility is something you either have or don’t have. If you think it’s something you do (like dying your hair to a different color), you’ll end up feeling proud about how humble you are and, in reality, nothing will have changed in your root character. It can’t, because it’s not human nature. Only God can mercifully give a person the grace required to be truly humble. Humility is a super-natural miracle. If that wasn’t so, then correctional facilities and drug rehab centers wouldn’t fail like they do.

If you think you can’t do anything to help discourage this trend, then you’re deluded. Edmund Burke said, “All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing.” Talking about things is a start, but unless words are backed by action, liberal thinking will only be disrespected by those who take the liberty of believing they’re entitled to whatever do-gooders give them. Unfortunately, in today’s fast paced, corrupt world, a good man or good woman is wrongly perceived by too many as being the bad [uncaring] one (especially by those who are guilty of the same self-gratifying/self-glorifying mentality).

God says in 2 Thessalonians 3:10, “…if any would not work, neither should he eat.” Almost always, when you see someone carrying a sign that says, “Work for Food,” it’s a scam. People are suckered into thinking the sign holder is a responsible individual, but he knows most people would rather give money than trust him in their home to work. There is NOTHING wrong with not trusting people these days. In fact, it has become foolish to do so. What’s wrong with telling someone straightforwardly, “I don’t trust you.”??? If it hurts the person’s feelings to hear that, it’s not your fault how he reacts. It’s his choice. It’s up to individuals to prove they are trustworthy. Trust is earned and should not be given indiscriminately.

Street people and professional beggars are usually far more distrusting of homeowners, apartment renters, and other responsible/accountable citizens, than any tax payer could ever be of them.

¹Abandoned property is described as unoccupied space. I wonder how much those who have more than one home would love having uninvited guests residing in it while the homeowner is living elsewhere at the time.

²It’s just another foolish definition introduced to society by the PC [politically correct] crowd, who don’t even notice that you need pride in order to have low self-esteem in the first place. Low and high self-esteem are relative values that depend on what and/or who you’re comparing yourself to. Humility is not thinking less of yourself; it is thinking of yourself less.

A couple of nights ago I went to a local movie theatre to see the film Adam. The main character, Adam (played by Hugh Dancy), acts the role of an Aspie (primarily from the neurotypical perspective). It’s basically a story about his ‘first love’ experience, which happens to be with a NT woman who moves into the same apartment building he lives in.

Before I get more critical with my review, I must say the movie isn’t too bad (that’s a compliment when said by me) and is worth seeing.

Generally speaking, NTs automatically absorb what they view in most movies and on television. I can tell the effect a movie is having on its audience by how they’re reacting to certain scenes — when they laugh, how they laugh, etc.

I will probably be criticized for seeming to appear overly critical, but that’s to be expected when I see that others can’t be analytical enough. I do bounce my opinions off my NT husband and daughter first, before I venture on to say what I do (they both watched Adam with me and they both agree with my thoughts).

The part of the movie where Adam loses his temper when he finds out (by reading her notebook) that Beth deceived him, while they were at the theatre and saw her parents there, was exaggerated. I know enough Aspies to know that they don’t typically explode that violently (at least by the age of 29 anyhow).

I wish the film balanced the opposing neurological sides by letting the audience know more deeply what goes on in an Aspie’s mind. When it stops at merely showing anger towards deception, it makes the NTs look as if they’re the ones who know the proper way to live rather than the Aspies.

Overall, I think the picture subtly perpetuates the negative image given to Aspies by society. Adam is made out to look less intelligent than what most Aspies are. In real life, Adam would not have looked at the window so stupidly after Beth explained to him that he scared her by being out there unexpectedly. Aspies are perceptive and smart enough to know they might scare someone if they don’t first let them know what they’re about to do.

The worst mistake in the movie is how it portrays Aspies as lacking in empathy. The usual reason Aspies tend to be at a loss in knowing how to express themselves around NTs is because NTs have less empathy and assume too much.

When Beth took Adam to her friend’s party and Adam reiterated his knowledge about astronomy and telescopes to the woman with a cottage in Kerhonkson, that happened because of mind-blindness. What wasn’t equally apparent is the fact that NTs are just as mind-blind when it comes to their inability to develop an awareness of what is in the mind of an Aspie.

Yes, it probably is annoying to hear someone ramble on about facts you couldn’t care less about, but it is also just as annoying for Aspies to be forced to listen to the small talk that’s behind social games people play.

If Adam was a NT, he would not have asked Beth if she was sexually aroused during their trip to the park to see the raccoons. Instead, he would have assumed she was and probably would have made an attempt at physically advancing upon her.

There is a reason Aspies have the reputation for being more loyal to a partner than NTs. It’s because they’re more empathetic towards how their partner feels and they’re more sensitive towards the hurt it causes. It’s also the same reason Aspies have such an aversion towards deception and normally do not speak as idly as NTs do.

I’d love to see Hollywood create another “Aspie” movie, if they would have an elderly Aspie play the primary role — one who has the wisdom to know how to create the effect it will have upon the image of Aspergers in a more accurate light; preferably also having written the script and directed the scenes.

Superficially (for the most part), the movie portrayed Aspies in an accurate manner, but since it does not reveal the reasons (the “whys”) behind the Aspie behaviors¹ (like Adam with his boxes of cereal, Macaroni and Cheese, laundry habits, work style, etc.), it tips the image of Aspies into a negative perspective that buries the heads of most people into dirtifully thinking Aspergers is a disorder.

I might have more comments to add about Adam, after more people have had time to see the movie and give their replies to it. If that urge arrives, I’ll add them as postscripts to this post.

¹If you ever think that a NT has the answers as to why Aspies think what they do or behave as they do, then that’s what I’d call suffering from a major mental disorder (better known as delusions of grandeur).