I got reminded of a cultural difference between NTs and Aspies. As much as I understand and know about figures of speech, it’s still something that requires a translation process. If I’m the one using a figure of speech, obviously I’m not going to misread what I’m thinking. But if I’m not expecting someone else to speak figuratively, I can still jump to the wrong conclusion.

I think I’m understanding how it happens thanks to a recent example today. I won’t mention who this involves (and I’ll even change the initials to protect their privacy), but if she read this, I hope she knows that she has nothing to apologize for. I thank her for progressing my learning experience and the reminder I needed to know that I’m still taking what others say literally without realizing I’m doing it.

Here is what she said to me in an email:

Oh, yes, D is in heaven, and I don’t begrudge him that! It’s high time he had a good friend, as D has so much to give and truly loves everyone. It’s nice to see that reciprocated. My heart just breaks for T nonetheless!

Here was my response:

Your statement, “Oh, yes, D is in heaven,…” had me in complete confusion for about 15-20 minutes. I went to your blog searching for news of his passing away. In the email you just sent me, I thought you were referring to Jesus as being D’s good friend. I thought I overcame taking things literal, but now I doubt it’s something that I’ll ever be able to stop doing.

I left a comment on her blog where she wrote a post about the effects of her high-functioning autistic son’s new found friendship. I’m assuming that because my last impression I had when I left her blog was of a serious nature, it kept me in that same frame of mind when I read her words, “…D is in heaven…” Adding to that image my own difficult experiences throughout my life in the area of friendships, caused my mind to think that the only possible good friend an Aspie can have to keep ongoing contact with over a substantial length of time is Jesus. Being that Jesus is in heaven, naturally I assumed that D’s mother was telling me that D died.

On rare occasions, I’ve enjoyed a few months of an occasional blissful friendship before realizing what flaws were demanding its extinction. My hopes were up too high when I thought the solution for me was to have an Aspie friend. It’s not that my Aspie ‘friends’ become enemies. The Aspie whom I feel most closely bonded to (like a soul mate/brother) has too much of a need to be in control to be able to handle inconsistent contact from me. It saddened me to feel his pain and I miss being in contact with him, but because I don’t want him to suffer from my sporadic and unpredictable ways of being in touch, I decided it was best for the both of us if I would leave him alone.

I still ‘visit’ with him by going to the places he is online, but I have stopped communicating with him many months ago. Just the other day, a particular recent photo of him immediately reminded me of how much our lives are spent in solitude and the deep ways we are so much alike.

I have a female Aspie friend I can visit about twice a year for a couple of hours at most. If I’m lucky, I’ll get a phone call just as often. Any received emails (once every couple of months?) say very little. So, by the time there is a reconnection, I struggle to know what to say.

For my own well-being, I need a friendship where I know that if I need to call that person, he or she will be there for me. It might sound hypocritical of me to be repulsed by always hearing an answering machine I must leave a message on and then wait days for a potential return call, especially since I rarely answer my phone. However, if I knew that I had a friend who would call me (like I’d call her or him), I’d be more than happy to answer my phone. If I have enough time to get to the phone as someone is leaving me a message (who I want to talk with and wants to talk with me), I will pick up the phone. It’s only fair that the other person reciprocates with the same courtesy.

I’d enjoy a good friendship just like most people would, but when challenges involved are so difficult, it’s not that hard to learn how to live contentedly in solitude. Some days are not as pleasant as others, but all-in-all, with Jesus as a friend, my eyes look up to heaven knowing that the time spent in this world is nothing compared to eternity with Him.

Sixty days ago I came to the conclusion that my days for being able to have any form of drug, in any amount, now has intolerable consequences. Twice in that period of time I doubted that reality and both times paid the price. The first time was when I consumed two ounces of red wine one Saturday evening. The result was a maximum of two hours of sleep that night. The second mistake was when I had three ounces of white wine with a meal of shrimp.¹ Again, the most sleep I got afterward was a couple of hours. Sudden decreases in the amount of sleep can cause a vicious downward spiraling effect on me. The potential result can be one week of about a maximum of 14 hours totaled! I can go two-to-three nights (including the days in-between) without even a minute of sleep.

It’s not just wine that will trigger chronic insomnia. All my husband has to do is talk in an disturbingly unpleasant tone of voice. Then my nervous system gets shocked and I’m extra hyper-sensitive² for days. If another person talks nasty to me, it doesn’t have quite the same effect. I can only guess it’s because I don’t have to live with other people, so when they’re gone I know I won’t hear it. Not having any control over the exposure is what makes it worse, especially when trying to manage living with post-traumatic stress disorder.

Besides insomnia being a consequence to my sensory system being overloaded, headaches become more common. I used to be able to take over-the-counter pain relief medications. Not anymore I can. My bladder becomes hyper-sensitive and weaker. I try to keep a good distance from anything a pharmaceutical lab says is fit for human consumption (along with, of course, keeping away from what they say isn’t okay).

Fumes from chemicals like paint, polyurethane, bleach, ammonia, perfume, etc. are horrible to the nervous system. I used to be able to be indoors with the windows open if there was some mild usage of those products. Now I have to be outside and not come back in until all of it is gone from the air.

My eyesight isn’t what it once was (it’s worse); neither is my hearing (it’s now more acute). Certain sounds children and small dogs can emit quickly stress me out. Tension comes instantly, but can take days to go away.

The topping to all these joys is knowing how ignorantly people misjudge the reasons why a hyper-sensitive person likes to stay reclusive and do a minimal amount of socializing.

The easy resolution is to simply stay as far away as I can from things that are harmful to my health. That includes avoiding toxic people (who may mean well), especially those who think they know how to help others (but yet they have no clue what it is like to be in someone else’s shoes).

I have tried just about everything known to cause drowsiness. Most of them did (once upon a time) work to some degree for awhile, but the long-term consequences (especially with some of them) taught me something very important.

I’ve always known God works all things for the good to those who are called according to His purpose. I’ve been praying for help to overcome some obstacles in my life that should be as easy as a physically sound individual walking out of a room on his own accord. God wanted me to walk His way and He didn’t submit to doing the walk for me. What He did do though was make it very unpleasant for me to stay on the same path I’ve been on (some of them for decades).

It’s a lot harder to quit seeking from substances, activities, and/or certain people, what God alone can give. Instant gratification usually justifies itself with this thought, “God wants me to use these alternatives.” In my case, God knew how to turn up the dial of discomfort to get me moving in a better direction.

Depending on God never has any bad side effects — short term or long term!

¹I’m allergic to shrimp. Drinking a small glass of wine while eating shrimp is enough to stop me from breaking out in hives. Saying goodbye to wine means saying goodbye to shrimp and my sweet Straw-Buried-Bombers too.

²Aspies are prone to being hyper-sensitive as it is.

It’s kind of going through this season again…

whether it’s creating a new weblog design¹ or new post.

I think I’ll allow comments for a change, but who knows for how long? Special events pass quickly.

I’m curious what my readers think of the new look for this site. Please don’t feel offended if I don’t make more alterations that what I’ve already done.

If you’re experiencing slower than usual page loading, it’s not the software’s fault. It’s the hosting company’s poor management of accounts they’ve acquired. They offer no money-back guarantee for dissatisfied annual subscribers.

[Edit added 14 hours after publication time — This post went up before I went to sleep last night. This morning it's as if the web hosting fairy came while I was asleep. I'm stunned by how much faster the pages load on my site! How's that for a weird coincidence?!?!]

[Edit added 3 days after publication time — This morning I see that the speed at which the pages on my site load has slowed down a lot. I guess the hosting company's service is also like my mind too often. Some kind of indecision has to be going on somewhere with them, because it's not me that's causing big fluctuations in loading speeds from one day to the next!]

¹The theme’s name is Victorian Xmas. Mel Pedley developed it. I removed the Christmas season look and gave it a garden touch by adding ivy leaves. The delicate wildlife reflects my nature (although I probably write like a nasty critter sometimes).

In my post I wrote last January 18th I said, “I’m also going back to 1 Corinthians 2:2 and being thankful for God’s never ending perfect love.” I never really stopped being thankful for God’s love. What would have been accurate for me to say was that I’m more appreciative of His love, especially after realizing how easy it is to take things for granted.

What I meant by going back to 1 Corinthians 2:2 was going back to meditating upon what it means. I don’t know why that verse impulsively came to my attention as I was finishing that post. I can only guess that I was unconsciously connecting it to the devotional for April 2nd from Oswald Chambers’ My Utmost for His Highest. It’s entitled THE GLORY THAT EXCELS. At that time, my eye was in a lot of pain from a recent accident and I didn’t know if a permanent visual impairment would be the result. To see the connection between my physical/emotional state of being and the devotional including 1 Corinthians 2:2, all you need to do is read it:

“The Lord . . . hath sent me that thou mightest receive thy sight.” Acts 9:17

When Paul received his sight, he received spiritually an insight into the Person of Jesus Christ, and the whole of his subsequent life and preaching was nothing but Jesus Christ – “I determined not to know anything among you, save Jesus Christ, and Him crucified.” No attraction was ever allowed to hold the mind and soul of Paul save the face of Jesus Christ.

We have to learn to maintain an unimpaired state of character up to the last notch revealed in the vision of Jesus Christ.

The abiding characteristic of a spiritual man is the interpretation of the Lord Jesus Christ to himself, and the interpretation to others of the purposes of God. The one concentrated passion of the life is Jesus Christ. Whenever you meet this note in a man, you feel he is a man after God’s own heart.

Never allow anything to deflect you from insight into Jesus Christ. It is the test of whether you are spiritual or not. To be unspiritual means that other things have a growing fascination for you.

“Since mine eyes have looked on Jesus,
I’ve lost sight of all beside,
So enchained my spirit’s vision,
Gazing on the Crucified.”

The last time when I read that day’s devotion, I didn’t have the same understanding of it as I do now. I also didn’t have the same understanding of the one for July 30th as I do now. The deeper insight behind what Paul meant by saying he determined not to know anything among the others he was with except for Jesus Christ and Him crucified came to me sometime between the 19th and the 23rd of this year’s January. It’s now the 27th and my deeper understanding was just now confirmed when I did a search for which days Chambers based his devotionals on 1 Corinthians 2:2. If you take a look at the one for July 30th (entitled THE DISCIPLINE OF DISILLUSIONMENT), you will not see that bible verse referenced to, but yet the message is applicable to the verse:

“Jesus did not commit Himself unto them for He knew what was in man.” John 2:24-25

Disillusionment means that there are no more false judgments in life. To be undeceived by disillusionment may leave us cynical and unkindly severe in our judgment of others, but the disillusionment which comes from God brings us to the place where we see men and women as they really are, and yet there is no cynicism, we have no stinging, bitter things to say. Many of the cruel things in life spring from the fact that we suffer from illusions. We are not true to one another as facts; we are true only to our ideas of one another. Everything is either delightful and fine, or mean and dastardly, according to our idea.

The refusal to be disillusioned is the cause of much of the suffering in human life. It works in this way – if we love a human being and do not love God, we demand of him every perfection and every rectitude, and when we do not get it we become cruel and vindictive; we are demanding of a human being that which he or she cannot give. There is only one Being Who can satisfy the last aching abyss of the human heart, and that is the Lord Jesus Christ. Why Our Lord is apparently so severe regarding every human relationship is because He knows that every relationship not based on loyalty to Himself will end in disaster. Our Lord trusted no man, yet He was never suspicious, never bitter. Our Lord’s confidence in God and in what His grace could do for any man, was so perfect that He despaired of no one. If our trust is placed in human beings, we shall end in despairing of everyone.

Jesus says in Luke 13:32, “…Go ye, and tell that fox,…” and in chapter 23 of Matthew he uses the words, “Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites!; Ye fools and blind guides; Ye serpents, ye generation of vipers…” John the Baptist also used similar language; plus, he added, “who hath warned you to flee from the wrath to come?” Fools would describe that kind of talk as being suspicious and bitter. There are more verses besides those that are said by others in the bible which some might misinterpret as being ungodly behavior.

There are several bible verses where God advises against trusting anyone other than Him. Because of Christ’s righteousness imputed into God’s elect, not only are Christians free from guilt,¹ the ability to not know anything about others that only God needs to know is something attainable with determination. That means Christians don’t need to try to figure people out completely.² Whatever way others are, that’s between them and God.  Those who depend on self rather than God seek security in their confidence to size people up beyond what they’re capable of.

[A portion was removed from this section of my post on 1.28.10 for editing purposes.]

I’m still skeptical about the idea that being cynical is completely bad. Something within me is saying that it may be wise to blow off the dust from my by book Mark Ellingsen called Blessed Are the Cynical: How Original Sin Can Make America A Better Place and take some time to re-read what’s inside.

Being cynical is like a fire. It can burn people or it can provide necessary protection from the cold and predatory wildlife; plus, it can bring light to expel darkness. A fire is only useful and safe when it’s contained to where it belongs (e.g., a fireplace). If it burns out of control, it can be deadly.

To never be skeptical of the motives of others would be like being willing to leave a fox in charge of the hen house.

I think Matthew 10:16 illuminates any disillusionments by saying, “Behold, I send you forth as sheep in the midst of wolves: be ye therefore wise as serpents, and harmless as doves.” In other words, if we want to protect ourselves from criminals, we need to know the way their minds work. What we can’t know is what God has planned for their hearts, nor do we need to know. It would be criminal to relish in the death of a murder rather than pray for his salvation. Capital punishment may kill a human being, but it’s not the same thing as murder. Murder always resides in a malicious heart, but not necessarily all acts of killing.

Maybe it’s because we can’t see the internal sins of ourselves and others as easily as the external ones that we’re tempted to stray beyond the boundaries of seeking to know more than what’s necessary about others? If we can’t gather enough information to satisfy our carnal cravings (caused by not trusting God), imagination kicks in to fill the void.

¹“For then would they not have ceased to be offered? because that the worshippers once purged should have had no more conscience of sins.” — Hebrews 10:2

²This includes Aspie Christians!

If you’re not a WordPress Tag Surfer user (subscribed to Asperger/autism related material), you’re not missing any relevant information by not reading this post (except for maybe the note at the end).

This post is to explain why those who have used WordPress’s Tag Surfer subscription feature to view posts of mine might not have been able to do so and now will be able to.

I have two identical blogs. When I first began blogging on January 24, 2008, I had only one blog. The next day after creating that blog, I got a domain mapping upgrade. It caused that blog to eliminate wordpress from the center of the url, so all that was then seen was the same url only without it containing wordpress.

On May 22, 2008, I acquired an account from a web hosting company. I then created a second blog (also with the same domain) and proceeded to ignore the first one hosted by WordPress. All the traffic from my first blog at WordPress became automatically redirected to my second blog hosted by another company. It still works that same way today.

Due to recently renewing my domain mapping for another year for my original WordPress account, it brought my attention back to the features WordPress has — more specifically, its tag surfer subscription feature. I also re-enabled search engines to allow its tags back into public view. I checked to see if it would work by adding in all the posts from my second blog, but I changed the dates of some so that they would be listed as being recent. That caused tag surfers subscribed to Aspergers or autism to reach a broken link because of the conflict between the dates of those posts (one blog versus the other). I now have fixed that problem by making the dates match.

I plan to continually add all the future posts from my second blog into my first blog (the first blog is always invisible because it redirects traffic to the second one).¹ If I didn’t do so, then the Asperger/autism Tag Surfer subscribers would miss out on seeing a blog written by a 55 year old Aspie woman. My blog isn’t restricted to Asperger related topics.

The other thing that is different about my first blog versus the second one are the themes. They both now have a liquid layout, but the first one (not visible to visitors) is plain and white (some long-time readers of my blog might remember it). The second one is now colorful (I recently changed its theme).

Please note — [Edited on 1.28.10] The publication time is no longer displayed because the time zone had to be advanced for each post; therefore it became inaccurate. Because of the new blog theme, the software updates are unable to correct a bug in the display of its calendar. In order to prevent the calendar from distorting, I had to choose to distort the time instead. Two days after publishing this post, I realized the time isn’t even necessary so I got rid of it.

¹My first blog ends up being a backup for my backup held on my hard drive. How cool is that?!

On some Saturday evenings, Puzzles is busy warming up our guest’s jacket. She’d love to read a good book, if only her eyes would quit swirling around long enough to find one!

When it’s raining heavily outside, what else is there to do other than flatten out the cushions on the sofa tops?

Puzzles and Oliver are up on sunny days being entertained by the birds at their feeder.

Rascal is the third wheel. Good thing she has Goofy¹ to keep her company!

¹I’m goofy.

Aspies by nature say what they mean and mean what they say, but they don’t mean to be mean. The deaf culture is the same as the Aspie culture in that those in either culture don’t think like neurotypicals do.

For example, when my daughter had a deaf friend over for a visit, her friend said something a neurotypical visitor wouldn’t typically say. After this friend made use of my daughter’s bathroom, she came out with the words, “Your bathroom floor is ugly. You should get it fixed.”¹ If my daughter was raised by a NT mom, she probably would have been offended. As it is, she and her mother-in-law² both find going to a deaf sign language group as being the best type of group to be around. They find deaf people, and Aspies, to be refreshingly enjoyable to socialize with because it’s unlike being around any NT groups which meet regularly.

More people than not are offended by those who are a challenge to understand. It’s actually the theatrical roles of socializing that are strange. When I first pointed out my observations of when my daughter took on a different persona while socializing at parties, she didn’t even realize she was doing it. After some explaining on my part and her having time to think about it, she realized how true it really was. She recently explained to me how that knowledge is now empowering her, but it’s hard to know if that would be so if she hadn’t become saved to be used by God for His purposes.

There is nothing mean about saying (in a neutral tone of voice) to someone, “I don’t trust you until I can see concrete evidence backing up what you tell me.” NTs may be able to wear the I give people the benefit of doubt mask because they’re less prone to being socially gullible than Aspies are. Imagine an young innocent child socializing among a mixed crowd of trustworthy and untrustworthy adults. Children need to be protected until they’ve mature enough to sense when someone is playing around with them.

Aspies can’t wear protective masks. They’re either going to have to live to please NTs and take the risk of being abused and/or taken advantage of OR forget about whether or not a NT is offended and instead protect themselves by being cautious via being straightforward when socializing.

I don’t care whether or not someone gives me the benefit of doubt. They have my consent to think whatever they want about me. That I can respect. What’s a mess is that certain social policies have become the established rules for what’s acceptable behavior. Those who don’t live up to such standards are outcasts.

Why will it never be socially acceptable for someone to express his or her thoughts as honestly has he or she can? Honesty seems to have become old-fashioned. Is it because people are now too easily offended by it? The contemporary style now is to not say what you mean and to not mean what you say. That’s why I hold the theory that Asperger people didn’t stand out in history like they do now.

¹My daughter is a multi-culture interpreter. She has both sign language skills for communicating with the deaf world and she has skills for helping me to interpret how neurotypicals think. I told her I thought it would be great if her and I worked together on a script for a comedy movie. It would be similar to the film Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan. Instead of Kazakhstan, it would be Aspergakhstan. Instead of NTs making movies having Aspies look like they’re socially inept, it would show NTs looking socially inept for a change.

²I haven’t experienced going to a sign language group. However, I am tempted. An Aspie friend of mine goes to this same local deaf group and he loves it too, but that’s mostly because my daughter has influenced the others in the group to accept this guy’s different way of being as something that’s attractive. She has a charismatic personality that enables her to play the social NT scene with finesse, so usually when she likes someone others do too.

There are many publications on salvation. Most are lengthy. It seems the longer the explanation is, the more it divides Christians instead of uniting them. It is for this reason I have tried to simplify what salvation basically is.

All Christians are one with God. Just like a body has many parts and each needs to be treated well in order for all to be healthy, everyone in God’s church must be too or else it won’t be holy.

It is not for anyone to judge who is a member of God’s church. Since only God knows what’s in each individual’s heart, we must treat others as we would want others to treat us. This means to love all people. Love is when you feel what others are feeling and care more about them than yourself.

When your neighbor, relative, spouse, enemy, friend, stranger, child, and/or even your dog is happy, then you’re happy. If he or she is sad, you’re sad. If they’re hurt, you feel their pain. If this does not honestly describe you, then rethink your beliefs about how you’ll feel when you meet your maker.

Christians should remember the simplicity of the gospel of Jesus Christ, who Himself said in John 13:35, “By this all will know you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.” We, who are one with God, trust He will make all things right in His way and His time. We are also commited to following after what His desire is for us, because we love Him more than our own self.

In God’s church, nothing ought to be about you. This means anyone caught gossiping should be excommunicated. How does one know when s/he is excommunicated from an invisible church, if he or she does such a proud thing? S/he will be shunned until there is evidence of a new heart within her/his soul. Even though one might be shunned physically, we continue to pray that s/he comes to the light, sees the error of her/his ways, and pleads for forgiveness from the Lord. How do we recognize a new heart? By God’s spirit we can feel the love where there once was none.

Do you want to see God’s heavenly kingdom? Do you want God as your father? You must be born again and Jesus is the only way anyone can be. There is no experience more joyous than to witness the birth of a spiritually dead person! If this does not honestly describe you, then rethink your beliefs about how you’ll feel when you meet your maker.

If you want salvation, then declare that Jesus is Lord, believe that God brought Him back to life, and you will be saved. If you will not, you will be held accountable when God’s judgment comes.

God does not allow into heaven those who are not saved. Since no human being is in the position to know who has repented, it is not proper for us to judge who is or is not saved. We should make judgments when we need to make decisions, but that is not the same thing as acting holier-than-thou.

God’s word is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness. Biblical admonition is moral correction through verbal confrontation motivated by genuine love. But, God’s word also tells us in Acts 5:38-39, “And now I say unto you, Refrain from these men, and let them alone: for if this counsel or this work be of men, it will come to nought: But if it be of God, ye cannot overthrow it; lest haply ye be found even to fight against God.”

The boundary I’ve found between using God’s word for moral correction and refraining from what others choose to do is that I refrain from others and let them alone after I see they don’t want to listen to me. I let them alone in the sense that I don’t want to proselytize Christian doctrine. Rarely will I shun an individual. I prefer to keep relationships ongoing for as long as possible. As for when I can’t be with someone in person, I can have him or her in my heart and prayers. My love for others is not based on what others choose to do. My love for others is based on what Christ did for me.

Salvation all boils down to what Jesus said in Matthew 12:30, “He that is not with me is against me; and he that gathereth not with me scattereth abroad.” There are countless web pages like Phillip R. Johnson‘s one for Bad Theology. Undoubtedly Johnson’s motive is to follow 2 Timothy 3:16. When we follow the same path, we absolutely must not be like the proud [self-righteous] Pharisee in Luke 18:12 who prayed, “I fast twice in the week, I give tithes of all that I possess.” We are not fit to guide others if we do not have the same spirit as displayed by the publican in the next verse, “And the publican, standing afar off, would not lift up so much as his eyes unto heaven, but smote upon his breast, saying, God be merciful to me a sinner.” In verse 14, Jesus warns us, “…every one that exalteth himself shall be abased; and he that humbleth himself shall be exalted.” It was the publican who went down to his house justified; not the Pharisee.

When you adhere to 2 Timothy 3:16, do you also project the same child-like humility, “Whosoever therefore shall humble himself as this little child, the same is greatest in the kingdom of heaven.” as said in Matthew 18:4? If not, God will abase you for displaying a spirit of pride.

Those who refuse to hear the truth as God tells it in His word are dust and need to be shook off. Disciples of Christ will go out into the world and preach the gospel. Christians can know who will listen, but only God knows who will hear and see.

When God tells us to shake off those who will not listen to the gospel, He doesn’t mean we shouldn’t have unbelieving friends. He means we are not to have needless intimacy with them. With that being said, here are a couple of long explanations on salvation:

The New Birth Explained by Miles J. Stanford as published on Diane & Dan Smedra’s website.

God’s Magnificent Salvation Plan by Harold Camping as published on Tony Warren’s website.

Four days have gone by since I accidentally did something stupid that I can now talk about, if I keep it brief and make fun of it. Most people like things brief, but maybe not goofy. Let me begin by not recommending Hydrochloric Acid for cleansing the eyes.

This → is not this! →

They both clean, but one puts redness in while the other takes it out. Besides redness, the one on the left can do all kinds of fun stuff. It can permanently blind you, cause glaucoma to develop, etc., but what it won’t do is enhance your sleep if you’ve got a hypersensitive nervous system!

Aspies are accident prone as it is, but imagine an Aspie functioning under sleep deprivation. It leads to more accidents, usually the kind that affect one’s ability to sleep, which then lead to more accidents. I think I’m safe if I stay on my chair here in front of my desk.

Since it’s genetically evident that Aspergers is not a form of autism, I propose a different spectrum. Call it the Aspectrum; call those on it Aspectrumites.

An aspect is a particular way in which something can be viewed by the mind. Neurotypicals don’t have aspects like Aspies.

A spectacle is someone noticeably unusual (different). High-functioning Aspectrumites would be those who conform to a neurotypical culture in a way that’s more satisfying to the NT standard. Low-functioning Aspectrumites would be enigmas (e.g., me) who are less influenced by NTs and more non-conforming,¹ so we’d be considered by others as functioning in a less comprehensible manner.

A spectacle is also something that can be seen or viewed, especially something of a remarkable or impressive nature. It’s remarkable to be able to see, especially with both eyes after one of them gets a dosage of a chemical that’s claimed to cause irreversible eye damage. Eye’m still irritated and sore at m’eye self. I speculate that someday soon my mind will spectacularly quit focusing on things related to you know what.

¹For example, in the case of emergencies (and non-emergencies too; e.g., childbirth), I don’t even go there where others can ask me questions. I’m the one who makes the inquiries (under my terms) and the decisions, especially when it comes to the body God has loaned to me for His use. As they say, “The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.” My dad was just like me. So are eccentrics, according to David Weeks. He says, “In Great Britain, where health care is free, the average person goes to the doctor twice a year, while eccentrics will typically go for eight or nine years without seeking medical help.”

P.S. — My son just reminded me of another similar accident. His words were,

Remember when you put Sweet Breath® drops in your eye because you thought it was Visine®?

Nor is this for eye enhancement!

Late in the afternoon of last Saturday on the 16th, something happened to me physically that was an accident. I’ve been under more than my usual amount of stress and was suffering back into severe insomnia. That combination causes me to be functioning without thinking what I’m doing. All that I’m willing to say about the details of this incident, which I pray to God that the consequences will not be permanent and that the pain will go away, is that it’s related to a very dangerous chemical.

It’s something that would naturally upset anyone’s emotions if it were to happen to them. In my case, a thing like this can create a challenge for me to be able to focus with both eyes open on things. Plus, it can destroy my confidence in what I’m doing, especially in situations where I’m being social with another person (since that’s probably the area of my life I have the least amount of confidence to begin with). I thought it wouldn’t be a problem that could also affect what I do online when writing a post for my blog because of not having to hear a person’s voice, see someone, or correspond if I’m not up to it. I was wrong about that.

Yesterday I impulsively wrote a post thinking that it would help to relieve some of my anxiety that’s been built to a meltdown point.¹ What I learned instead is that it actually added to my tension. That’s why I removed it before I went to bed last night. I figured I could put it back after having some sleep.² I woke up this morning with a new insight from my caring and understanding daughter (who I trust because of her comforting and secure faith in God) lovingly gave to me last night.

I created this blog almost two years ago on the 24th of a January. What has been happening without my realizing it as time has gone by is how wrong it is to believe that using a blog is always a reliable form of therapy. I won’t discriminate blogging in this regard. The same thing can just as well happen with knitting, art, music, exercise, etc. when God loses His rightful place. I recently said to an Aspie friend of mine, “If we seek from others what only God alone can give, that is lust and it works like, ‘I must have this at once, I cannot wait for God’s time, God is too indifferent.’” That statement about lust can be equally true when said, “If we seek from activities what only God alone can give, that is lust and it works like, ‘I must have this at once, I cannot wait for God’s time, God is too indifferent.’”

I am too exhausted now to know what else to say and need time to recover from my injury. A wonderful comfort is knowing Romans 8:28, “And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.”  I’m also going back to 1 Corinthians 2:2 and being thankful for God’s never ending perfect love.

¹Meltdowns are a common risk among Asperger individuals that can have a snowball effect if not taken care of properly.

²At this time, I don’t know if I will put the post entitled, “Mean it but not mean…” back in place or not.