If you’re interested in posts which would fall under the categories of Aspergerings and Aspie Myths, they may be found on my original blog.

There are some posts on this blog which are not on my original one. On March 8th of 2010, I started Shela’s Posts so that I could move on with my life by attempting to wean myself away from thinking about Aspergers so much.

I have no complaints about God designing me to be an Aspie. I want my interest in Aspergers to now be as minimal as possible, because it interferes with my greater interest (keeping my mind focused on the things of God as said in His word, the Bible).

So far I haven’t noticed anyone else stating online the same primary reason I have for usually not having comments enabled. This post is a continuation of yesterday’s Comment Chaos. I’ll begin from where I left off…

Keith’s response to Nyman’s post expresses my thoughts exactly. Notice Nyman’s response to it.

The number one reason why I usually will not enable comments is because it goes against my Christian beliefs. Christians should do what they can to avoid arguments and quarreling. Allowing an environment for the kind of debating that typically goes on when comments are enabled on controversial posts fosters an ungodly spirit.

When I encounter posts which contain heated responses going back and forth on controversial topics, I quickly begin to feel very disturbed. That’s unavoidable for me — probably because of being both a Christian and an Aspie. Others cannot know the intense degree to which I’m empathetic towards the feelings of every human being.¹ That’s why trying to explain this in a way others can comprehend what I’m talking about might be impossible, but since it’s not for me to judge what others are capable of, I shall make the attempt.

Imagine a young child who loves both of his parents equally. Then try to imagine how that child would feel while hearing his parents arguing passionately. He would be disturbed because he wants his parents to get along together. For them to be against each other on an issue (or issues) reveals evidence of the potential that they will divide apart (i.e., split). What condition does that then leave the child in? He suffers heartache, especially since he knows there is nothing he can do that’s within his power or control to keep them from hurting each other.

Think about what and why people get defensive. Jesus was perfectly humble. He valued not what others in this world thought of him. Nor did He insist others follow Him. He merely abided His earthly life with His heart’s affection ruled by God. He loved mankind, but loved His heavenly Father more.

What stimulates the need in people to force their opinions on others is pride. Proud people don’t let God be God. When that’s the case, they take it upon themselves to act like god. That’s chaos, because there is no unity (i.e., no common denominator). Chaos and confusion are the grounds for malice to grow.

I once said on my blog, “There is no love in strife, quarreling, wrangling, bickering, or any debating that stems from pride. A malicious spirit only invites disrespect and needs to be disregarded.” God has reasons for saying what’s stated in Romans 1:28-31 and Matthew 5:11-13. There are many other bible verses warning mankind about strife.

I also had written, “Just because others like to debate and argue doesn’t mean I should too. If you’re here to complain, criticize, accuse, and/or condemn me, then maybe it’s best you leave. I don’t allow readers to challenge what I write in my posts, since most contradictions have already been argued elsewhere ad nauseam.” If the way I said it sounds nasty, I didn’t mean it to. It’s hard to know how to say something so people get the message that you mean what you say, while at the same time, keep from crossing the boundary of acting like a god. Adding to that, all the different types of characters who are reading online makes it impossible to not offend someone sometimes, especially if they’re unwilling to be understanding and/or are intolerant of others who differ.

If this post gets misconstrued as being like a sermon given by a preacher because I’m not going to enable comments, the reasons for that will probably vary. For starters, to judge like that is to not look at the whole picture. I am more than my blog. I have lived beyond a middle age. That means my blog is affected by a history of being (mis)treated by others in different ways, a lifetime of learning that has developed who I now am today, and (most importantly) being in training under the rule of my Heavenly Father. I won’t go beyond what I’ve already said, because what I’ve already said might be too much for some people to gracefully accept.

¹Even though I’m super-sensitive towards how others feel does not mean my behavior reflects it perfectly all the time. I have moods just like anyone else. I’m more aware of the times when I’m being a hypocrite or jerk than when I’m not being like that.

It’s now March and this morning I was remembering when my husband and I attended a Christmas party he was invited to last year and told to bring his wife. The ones who hosted it are local to the area. Being country people, they are typically more of the down-to-earth and laid-back type of crowd. In spite of them lacking the stronger competitive urge to be impressive and show off (that’s too often found among the suburbanites who are generally handicapped in this aspect), I noticed they are no different than any other neurotypicals (generally speaking).¹

Everyone at the party (except for me) was engrossed in conversation. It was obvious they didn’t want to make eye contact with me. It felt as if they were too afraid to. If someone was to make eye contact with me, it would be obvious if they didn’t smile back at me while I’m smiling at them. I know I can trust my husband to give me honest and neutral feedback on what he observed going on. He confirmed my suspicions about how awkward and uncomfortable NTs feel around Aspies they haven’t had to experience time getting acquainted with.

I think that NTs don’t realize they can be just as incapable of knowing how to socialize as Aspies can be in a culture unlike their own. The reason NTs don’t realize this is because their confidence level in socializing is typically much higher due to living in a world that’s dominated by their own kind. That would explain the mental attitude behind why they think they need to ‘fix’ Aspies.

Last night, I watched an episode of NBC’s show Community. I’ve probably missed seeing most of them. My curiosity to see how this sitcom was progressing with the main character Abed (an Aspie) got the better of me, so I took a break and watched tv for half an hour (I rarely watch television). I’m glad to see that this show is portraying an Aspie character as accurately as it is and that it’s being done in a positive light. In hindsight, I see I was too hastily over-judgmental.

I’m impressed by how creatively the producers are incorporating Aspie traits into their plots. The ones I’ve been seeing lately have been thought provoking to me and I hope the effect is the same for NTs. I doubt most NTs delve into deep thoughts while being entertained, but maybe the show will influence them into doing so. Abed has that affect on his classmates. Maybe it will rub off to viewers?

¹Even if the Martha Stewart crowd had barns filled with cows, they’d never entertain guests in an atmosphere where people could come in and leave their dirty boots on. I loved being able to relax sitting on a bale of hay among cows chewing their cud and watching cats roam in the barn while others were chattering away in their own world.

Extracted from The Complete Works of Oswald Chambers, in his book The Moral Foundations of Life, under the chapter The Soul’s Awakening, were these words that spoke loud and clear to me about my being bothered over not being understood by neurotypical people:

By heeding the reality of God’s grace within us we are never bothered again by the fact that we do not understand ourselves, or that other people do not understand us. If anyone understood me, he would be my god. The only Being Who understands me is the Being Who made me and Who redeems me, and He will never expound me to myself; He will only bring me to the place of reality, viz., into contact with Himself, and the heart is at leisure from itself for ever afterwards.

After having thought about that, I realized how true it is. It explains the craving to be understood and to know oneself. Both things are a trap, especially because of how impossible it is to satisfy either yearning.

When I reflect upon how much torment my heart would endure because of being an Aspie in a NT world, I find Chambers’ advice awesome! I can only imagine how something like this rubs against the grain of today’s Asperger awareness movement.

I’m not saying anything against neurodiversity advocates or those opposing them. What I am saying is that I’m beginning to believe I will quietly exit out of the arena of the Asperger movement. I have no regrets being an Aspie, but the more time I spend of my life focused on Aspergers, the more I feel I’m not living up to my full potential.

I can’t think of anything better to retire from than the work of trying to get others to understand me.

The last time I went to an Asperger group meeting for adults was on December 12th of last year. If I were to continue, it would be almost three years of going. There isn’t anything much left for me to give to the group information wise about Aspergers that I haven’t already said and there isn’t anything much left for me to gain by going.

Group meetings are not like gathering together for leisure activities; such as hanging out at a pub for pizza, going on a picnic or hike, etc. A lot of time in my life was occupied in settings similar to classrooms, bible study groups, support groups, and other special interest groups (e.g., computer clubs, sportsman clubs etc.). Rarely have I been able to simply enjoy time with another person outside of some programmed or planned project that’s restricted to a scheduled time and run by a leader.

I grew up in the era of when people dropped by unexpectedly for a cup of coffee, answered their phones, and made time to do fun things together. I can’t bring them back, but I also don’t have to do things that are not satisfying to me.

Long ago, church was satisfying and I attended many different ones. Today I realized I have a pastor again and he’s bar none the best I’ve ever experienced! Just because Oswald Chambers isn’t alive anymore does not mean he can’t shepherd my soul through his words left behind in print. God did it by leaving us His word in the Bible and He can just as well keep a pastor (or chaplain, which is what Chambers was) blessing congregations after that individual has been taken home to be with the Lord.

It seems fitting that Chambers was a chaplain rather than a pastor. The basic difference between a pastor and a chaplain is that a pastor stays put in one place while a chaplain is “God on the go.” Chaplains serve people where there is no organized church.

Chambers wasn’t famous in his lifetime (1874-1917). Now he’s somewhat famous. I say somewhat because he should be more well-known than what he is by now. I can imagine why his popularity level is relatively low. One can’t read much of Chambers without it having a strong effect on his or her life. Modern Christianity wants God diluted. Chambers gives God’s message in concentrate and concentration is what it demands.

How often do you see nothing but the highest rating given by all reviewers?

Postscript added on 3.22.10 — Now that enough time has passed for me to form an opinion on some of the works by Chambers, I’ve written my own review in a post called Devotion to Caution.

I got reminded of a cultural difference between NTs and Aspies. As much as I understand and know about figures of speech, it’s still something that requires a translation process. If I’m the one using a figure of speech, obviously I’m not going to misread what I’m thinking. But if I’m not expecting someone else to speak figuratively, I can still jump to the wrong conclusion.

I think I’m understanding how it happens thanks to a recent example today. I won’t mention who this involves (and I’ll even change the initials to protect their privacy), but if she read this, I hope she knows that she has nothing to apologize for. I thank her for progressing my learning experience and the reminder I needed to know that I’m still taking what others say literally without realizing I’m doing it.

Here is what she said to me in an email:

Oh, yes, D is in heaven, and I don’t begrudge him that! It’s high time he had a good friend, as D has so much to give and truly loves everyone. It’s nice to see that reciprocated. My heart just breaks for T nonetheless!

Here was my response:

Your statement, “Oh, yes, D is in heaven,…” had me in complete confusion for about 15-20 minutes. I went to your blog searching for news of his passing away. In the email you just sent me, I thought you were referring to Jesus as being D’s good friend. I thought I overcame taking things literal, but now I doubt it’s something that I’ll ever be able to stop doing.

I left a comment on her blog where she wrote a post about the effects of her high-functioning autistic son’s new found friendship. I’m assuming that because my last impression I had when I left her blog was of a serious nature, it kept me in that same frame of mind when I read her words, “…D is in heaven…” Adding to that image my own difficult experiences throughout my life in the area of friendships, caused my mind to think that the only possible good friend an Aspie can have to keep ongoing contact with over a substantial length of time is Jesus. Being that Jesus is in heaven, naturally I assumed that D’s mother was telling me that D died.

On rare occasions, I’ve enjoyed a few months of an occasional blissful friendship before realizing what flaws were demanding its extinction. My hopes were up too high when I thought the solution for me was to have an Aspie friend. It’s not that my Aspie ‘friends’ become enemies. The Aspie whom I feel most closely bonded to (like a soul mate/brother) has too much of a need to be in control to be able to handle inconsistent contact from me. It saddened me to feel his pain and I miss being in contact with him, but because I don’t want him to suffer from my sporadic and unpredictable ways of being in touch, I decided it was best for the both of us if I would leave him alone.

I still ‘visit’ with him by going to the places he is online, but I have stopped communicating with him many months ago. Just the other day, a particular recent photo of him immediately reminded me of how much our lives are spent in solitude and the deep ways we are so much alike.

I have a female Aspie friend I can visit about twice a year for a couple of hours at most. If I’m lucky, I’ll get a phone call just as often. Any received emails (once every couple of months?) say very little. So, by the time there is a reconnection, I struggle to know what to say.

For my own well-being, I need a friendship where I know that if I need to call that person, he or she will be there for me. It might sound hypocritical of me to be repulsed by always hearing an answering machine I must leave a message on and then wait days for a potential return call, especially since I rarely answer my phone. However, if I knew that I had a friend who would call me (like I’d call her or him), I’d be more than happy to answer my phone. If I have enough time to get to the phone as someone is leaving me a message (who I want to talk with and wants to talk with me), I will pick up the phone. It’s only fair that the other person reciprocates with the same courtesy.

I’d enjoy a good friendship just like most people would, but when challenges involved are so difficult, it’s not that hard to learn how to live contentedly in solitude. Some days are not as pleasant as others, but all-in-all, with Jesus as a friend, my eyes look up to heaven knowing that the time spent in this world is nothing compared to eternity with Him.

Sixty days ago I came to the conclusion that my days for being able to have any form of drug, in any amount, now has intolerable consequences. Twice in that period of time I doubted that reality and both times paid the price. The first time was when I consumed two ounces of red wine one Saturday evening. The result was a maximum of two hours of sleep that night. The second mistake was when I had three ounces of white wine with a meal of shrimp.¹ Again, the most sleep I got afterward was a couple of hours. Sudden decreases in the amount of sleep can cause a vicious downward spiraling effect on me. The potential result can be one week of about a maximum of 14 hours totaled! I can go two-to-three nights (including the days in-between) without even a minute of sleep.

It’s not just wine that will trigger chronic insomnia. All my husband has to do is talk in an disturbingly unpleasant tone of voice. Then my nervous system gets shocked and I’m extra hyper-sensitive² for days. If another person talks nasty to me, it doesn’t have quite the same effect. I can only guess it’s because I don’t have to live with other people, so when they’re gone I know I won’t hear it. Not having any control over the exposure is what makes it worse, especially when trying to manage living with post-traumatic stress disorder.

Besides insomnia being a consequence to my sensory system being overloaded, headaches become more common. I used to be able to take over-the-counter pain relief medications. Not anymore I can. My bladder becomes hyper-sensitive and weaker. I try to keep a good distance from anything a pharmaceutical lab says is fit for human consumption (along with, of course, keeping away from what they say isn’t okay).

Fumes from chemicals like paint, polyurethane, bleach, ammonia, perfume, etc. are horrible to the nervous system. I used to be able to be indoors with the windows open if there was some mild usage of those products. Now I have to be outside and not come back in until all of it is gone from the air.

My eyesight isn’t what it once was (it’s worse); neither is my hearing (it’s now more acute). Certain sounds children and small dogs can emit quickly stress me out. Tension comes instantly, but can take days to go away.

The topping to all these joys is knowing how ignorantly people misjudge the reasons why a hyper-sensitive person likes to stay reclusive and do a minimal amount of socializing.

The easy resolution is to simply stay as far away as I can from things that are harmful to my health. That includes avoiding toxic people (who may mean well), especially those who think they know how to help others (but yet they have no clue what it is like to be in someone else’s shoes).

I have tried just about everything known to cause drowsiness. Most of them did (once upon a time) work to some degree for awhile, but the long-term consequences (especially with some of them) taught me something very important.

I’ve always known God works all things for the good to those who are called according to His purpose. I’ve been praying for help to overcome some obstacles in my life that should be as easy as a physically sound individual walking out of a room on his own accord. God wanted me to walk His way and He didn’t submit to doing the walk for me. What He did do though was make it very unpleasant for me to stay on the same path I’ve been on (some of them for decades).

It’s a lot harder to quit seeking from substances, activities, and/or certain people, what God alone can give. Instant gratification usually justifies itself with this thought, “God wants me to use these alternatives.” In my case, God knew how to turn up the dial of discomfort to get me moving in a better direction.

Depending on God never has any bad side effects — short term or long term!

¹I’m allergic to shrimp. Drinking a small glass of wine while eating shrimp is enough to stop me from breaking out in hives. Saying goodbye to wine means saying goodbye to shrimp and my sweet Straw-Buried-Bombers too.

²Aspies are prone to being hyper-sensitive as it is.

If you’re not a WordPress Tag Surfer user (subscribed to Asperger/autism related material), you’re not missing any relevant information by not reading this post (except for maybe the note at the end).

This post is to explain why those who have used WordPress’s Tag Surfer subscription feature to view posts of mine might not have been able to do so and now will be able to.

I have two identical blogs. When I first began blogging on January 24, 2008, I had only one blog. The next day after creating that blog, I got a domain mapping upgrade. It caused that blog to eliminate wordpress from the center of the url, so all that was then seen was the same url only without it containing wordpress.

On May 22, 2008, I acquired an account from a web hosting company. I then created a second blog (also with the same domain) and proceeded to ignore the first one hosted by WordPress. All the traffic from my first blog at WordPress became automatically redirected to my second blog hosted by another company. It still works that same way today.

Due to recently renewing my domain mapping for another year for my original WordPress account, it brought my attention back to the features WordPress has — more specifically, its tag surfer subscription feature. I also re-enabled search engines to allow its tags back into public view. I checked to see if it would work by adding in all the posts from my second blog, but I changed the dates of some so that they would be listed as being recent. That caused tag surfers subscribed to Aspergers or autism to reach a broken link because of the conflict between the dates of those posts (one blog versus the other). I now have fixed that problem by making the dates match.

I plan to continually add all the future posts from my second blog into my first blog (the first blog is always invisible because it redirects traffic to the second one).¹ If I didn’t do so, then the Asperger/autism Tag Surfer subscribers would miss out on seeing a blog written by a 55 year old Aspie woman. My blog isn’t restricted to Asperger related topics.

The other thing that is different about my first blog versus the second one are the themes. They both now have a liquid layout, but the first one (not visible to visitors) is plain and white (some long-time readers of my blog might remember it). The second one is now colorful (I recently changed its theme).

Please note — [Edited on 1.28.10] The publication time is no longer displayed because the time zone had to be advanced for each post; therefore it became inaccurate. Because of the new blog theme, the software updates are unable to correct a bug in the display of its calendar. In order to prevent the calendar from distorting, I had to choose to distort the time instead. Two days after publishing this post, I realized the time isn’t even necessary so I got rid of it.

¹My first blog ends up being a backup for my backup held on my hard drive. How cool is that?!

Aspies by nature say what they mean and mean what they say, but they don’t mean to be mean. The deaf culture is the same as the Aspie culture in that those in either culture don’t think like neurotypicals do.

For example, when my daughter had a deaf friend over for a visit, her friend said something a neurotypical visitor wouldn’t typically say. After this friend made use of my daughter’s bathroom, she came out with the words, “Your bathroom floor is ugly. You should get it fixed.”¹ If my daughter was raised by a NT mom, she probably would have been offended. As it is, she and her mother-in-law² both find going to a deaf sign language group as being the best type of group to be around. They find deaf people, and Aspies, to be refreshingly enjoyable to socialize with because it’s unlike being around any NT groups which meet regularly.

More people than not are offended by those who are a challenge to understand. It’s actually the theatrical roles of socializing that are strange. When I first pointed out my observations of when my daughter took on a different persona while socializing at parties, she didn’t even realize she was doing it. After some explaining on my part and her having time to think about it, she realized how true it really was. She recently explained to me how that knowledge is now empowering her, but it’s hard to know if that would be so if she hadn’t become saved to be used by God for His purposes.

There is nothing mean about saying (in a neutral tone of voice) to someone, “I don’t trust you until I can see concrete evidence backing up what you tell me.” NTs may be able to wear the I give people the benefit of doubt mask because they’re less prone to being socially gullible than Aspies are. Imagine an young innocent child socializing among a mixed crowd of trustworthy and untrustworthy adults. Children need to be protected until they’ve mature enough to sense when someone is playing around with them.

Aspies can’t wear protective masks. They’re either going to have to live to please NTs and take the risk of being abused and/or taken advantage of OR forget about whether or not a NT is offended and instead protect themselves by being cautious via being straightforward when socializing.

I don’t care whether or not someone gives me the benefit of doubt. They have my consent to think whatever they want about me. That I can respect. What’s a mess is that certain social policies have become the established rules for what’s acceptable behavior. Those who don’t live up to such standards are outcasts.

Why will it never be socially acceptable for someone to express his or her thoughts as honestly has he or she can? Honesty seems to have become old-fashioned. Is it because people are now too easily offended by it? The contemporary style now is to not say what you mean and to not mean what you say. That’s why I hold the theory that Asperger people didn’t stand out in history like they do now.

¹My daughter is a multi-culture interpreter. She has both sign language skills for communicating with the deaf world and she has skills for helping me to interpret how neurotypicals think. I told her I thought it would be great if her and I worked together on a script for a comedy movie. It would be similar to the film Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan. Instead of Kazakhstan, it would be Aspergakhstan. Instead of NTs making movies having Aspies look like they’re socially inept, it would show NTs looking socially inept for a change.

²I haven’t experienced going to a sign language group. However, I am tempted. An Aspie friend of mine goes to this same local deaf group and he loves it too, but that’s mostly because my daughter has influenced the others in the group to accept this guy’s different way of being as something that’s attractive. She has a charismatic personality that enables her to play the social NT scene with finesse, so usually when she likes someone others do too.

Four days have gone by since I accidentally did something stupid that I can now talk about, if I keep it brief and make fun of it. Most people like things brief, but maybe not goofy. Let me begin by not recommending Hydrochloric Acid for cleansing the eyes.

This → is not this! →

They both clean, but one puts redness in while the other takes it out. Besides redness, the one on the left can do all kinds of fun stuff. It can permanently blind you, cause glaucoma to develop, etc., but what it won’t do is enhance your sleep if you’ve got a hypersensitive nervous system!

Aspies are accident prone as it is, but imagine an Aspie functioning under sleep deprivation. It leads to more accidents, usually the kind that affect one’s ability to sleep, which then lead to more accidents. I think I’m safe if I stay on my chair here in front of my desk.

Since it’s genetically evident that Aspergers is not a form of autism, I propose a different spectrum. Call it the Aspectrum; call those on it Aspectrumites.

An aspect is a particular way in which something can be viewed by the mind. Neurotypicals don’t have aspects like Aspies.

A spectacle is someone noticeably unusual (different). High-functioning Aspectrumites would be those who conform to a neurotypical culture in a way that’s more satisfying to the NT standard. Low-functioning Aspectrumites would be enigmas (e.g., me) who are less influenced by NTs and more non-conforming,¹ so we’d be considered by others as functioning in a less comprehensible manner.

A spectacle is also something that can be seen or viewed, especially something of a remarkable or impressive nature. It’s remarkable to be able to see, especially with both eyes after one of them gets a dosage of a chemical that’s claimed to cause irreversible eye damage. Eye’m still irritated and sore at m’eye self. I speculate that someday soon my mind will spectacularly quit focusing on things related to you know what.

¹For example, in the case of emergencies (and non-emergencies too; e.g., childbirth), I don’t even go there where others can ask me questions. I’m the one who makes the inquiries (under my terms) and the decisions, especially when it comes to the body God has loaned to me for His use. As they say, “The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.” My dad was just like me. So are eccentrics, according to David Weeks. He says, “In Great Britain, where health care is free, the average person goes to the doctor twice a year, while eccentrics will typically go for eight or nine years without seeking medical help.”

P.S. — My son just reminded me of another similar accident. His words were,

Remember when you put Sweet Breath® drops in your eye because you thought it was Visine®?

Nor is this for eye enhancement!

Late in the afternoon of last Saturday on the 16th, something happened to me physically that was an accident. I’ve been under more than my usual amount of stress and was suffering back into severe insomnia. That combination causes me to be functioning without thinking what I’m doing. All that I’m willing to say about the details of this incident, which I pray to God that the consequences will not be permanent and that the pain will go away, is that it’s related to a very dangerous chemical.

It’s something that would naturally upset anyone’s emotions if it were to happen to them. In my case, a thing like this can create a challenge for me to be able to focus with both eyes open on things. Plus, it can destroy my confidence in what I’m doing, especially in situations where I’m being social with another person (since that’s probably the area of my life I have the least amount of confidence to begin with). I thought it wouldn’t be a problem that could also affect what I do online when writing a post for my blog because of not having to hear a person’s voice, see someone, or correspond if I’m not up to it. I was wrong about that.

Yesterday I impulsively wrote a post thinking that it would help to relieve some of my anxiety that’s been built to a meltdown point.¹ What I learned instead is that it actually added to my tension. That’s why I removed it before I went to bed last night. I figured I could put it back after having some sleep.² I woke up this morning with a new insight from my caring and understanding daughter (who I trust because of her comforting and secure faith in God) lovingly gave to me last night.

I created this blog almost two years ago on the 24th of a January. What has been happening without my realizing it as time has gone by is how wrong it is to believe that using a blog is always a reliable form of therapy. I won’t discriminate blogging in this regard. The same thing can just as well happen with knitting, art, music, exercise, etc. when God loses His rightful place. I recently said to an Aspie friend of mine, “If we seek from others what only God alone can give, that is lust and it works like, ‘I must have this at once, I cannot wait for God’s time, God is too indifferent.’” That statement about lust can be equally true when said, “If we seek from activities what only God alone can give, that is lust and it works like, ‘I must have this at once, I cannot wait for God’s time, God is too indifferent.’”

I am too exhausted now to know what else to say and need time to recover from my injury. A wonderful comfort is knowing Romans 8:28, “And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.”  I’m also going back to 1 Corinthians 2:2 and being thankful for God’s never ending perfect love.

¹Meltdowns are a common risk among Asperger individuals that can have a snowball effect if not taken care of properly.

²At this time, I don’t know if I will put the post entitled, “Mean it but not mean…” back in place or not.