I’m still reading the book Amish Grace: How Forgiveness Transcended Tragedy. I also periodically read whatever extra information I can find online about the Amish. I could ask my Amish female friend/pen-pal who is one year younger than me this same question that has me puzzled, but I don’t want to have her possibly feel awkward about answering.

I have basically shared much of the same Christian beliefs the Amish hold. The longer I study the bible, the more my faith becomes similar to theirs. What perplexes me though is why the Amish no longer seem to follow Matthew 28:19-20. Those verses, “Go ye therefore, and teach all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost: Teaching them to observe all things whatsoever I have commanded you: and, lo, I am with you always, even unto the end of the world. Amen,” sum up the Great Commission.

The Amish are Anabaptists. The Anabaptists were originally intensely evangelistic. Mennonites are also Anabaptists. They still do evangelize, but the Amish have stopped doing so. Even though outsiders occasionally do become accepted into the Amish church, it is rare. I completely understand why different Amish districts have their own Ordnung, but what doesn’t make sense to me is why those who marry a Christian outside of their community are judged as being rebellious against God’s will and then end up being excommunicated and shunned. I sort of comprehend why, but not completely.

I might completely understand this rejection if it wasn’t for reading an Amishman’s response to the question, “Can an outsider join the Amish church/community?” His remark was,

You do not need to move here to adopt a lifestyle of simplicity and discipleship. You can begin wherever you are.

Maybe if I could figure out just exactly what that remark means, it might help get rid of what seems inconsistent.

If a lifestyle of simplicity and discipleship means living in the will of God, then I don’t get why a marriage between someone who grew up Amish with a non-Amish Christian would be viewed as sinful rebellion. I read an analogy made between the Ordnung and team members of a sport — meaning that rules are required for fair game play. If those rules create that kind of division among Christians which end up forbidding the sharing of meals together, then how is hurt avoided? It doesn’t seem like the same kind of hurt someone experiences from being proud.

Pain from separation, as in the above example, seems to wound the spirit of love. I agree with shunning as being a form of loving discipline when someone’s eternal soul is at stake.¹ But since the bible does not clearly state that it is a sin for an Amish Christian to marry a non-Amish Christian, I don’t see how someone’s eternal soul is at risk.

I understand the Amish view of having a divine responsibility to judge those who break their baptismal vows and to preserve the purity of their church. However, it appears that when vows like that are being made (along with the severe consequences of breaking them), their church has become a higher authority than the bible.

¹Shunning is not harboring vengeance or malice. It is being unable to pardon an offense that someone refuses to acknowledge and repent of. Forgiving, pardoning, and reconciling a relationship, are three different things.

Without a reason to trust (especially after trust has become severely broken), there is no relationship to reconcile. Christians have the authority (and responsibility) to either pardon their brother/sister-in-Christ who commited the trespass or not, but if the offender isn’t a professing Christian, then it is up to the world to judge and choose whether or not to pardon the offense commited.

When the laws of human government are broken, then sometimes both the church and the state may be obligated to judge. When it’s only God’s law stated clearly in the bible that has been broken, then it’s the believers who must deal with it.

Trust can be earned back, but not without evidence of repentance. Repentance is the only hope for possibly regaining the motivation needed to work at trusting again.

I’m too tired to remember when my stress level has been as high as in these the past few weeks. One thing is for sure and that is my thoughts are undergoing a major upheaval of change. As if life isn’t humbling enough lately, reading the book Amish Grace: How Forgiveness Transcended Tragedy by Donald Kraybill, Steven Nolt, and David Weaver-Zercher has me reevaluating more things than I can possibly comprehend presently.

I think the analogy of a flash flood might describe my thoughts well. Floods are powerful. They create new pathways for water to flow. As they’re doing so, they sweep things in their path to rearrange life from what it once was. It takes time for the sediment to settle and the water to clear. Right now, for me, life is murky.

As Forrest Gump has said, “And that’s all I have to say about that.”

Now that I think about it, something that happened recently creeps me out. When my husband first told me yesterday morning what he saw near our house lying on the ground, I was sick to my stomach hearing about it. That’s why I titled this post as I did. If you get upset easily, quit reading this post here. If you read further out of curiosity and then get nauseated, be glad I have my limits as to what I would take a picture of.

Since my husband is the one who goes down to the garden, he is the one who saw something strange behind our smokehouse. It was a dead fawn on the ground. It’s back end was partially eaten. The odd thing is that its body had been lying there for two or three days. Either a bear or a coywolf killed it. What’s very creepy is that whatever captured it left it there. It’s not normal for a wild animal to not completely eat its prey (at least around here it’s not).

I heard this poor fawn cry for its life as it was being killed during the night it happened, but I didn’t expect to see any remains. The scream woke me up. I was too tired to know for sure what it was. It’s not unusual to hear an animal being killed periodically during some nights. What’s really awful is to hear it scream for a while, then stop, only to start again. One night I heard this horrible sound repeatedly for about two hours. I think it was a rabbit getting attacked. It’s just not what you’d expect after watching so many wildlife shows on television. Maybe for television they keep slow killings off the air?

I almost mentioned in my Middle of the Night Snack? post another awful story. I’m going to bring it up now because it too is creepy. I had a cat I raised from the time it was five days old. When she was three years old, I knew something was very wrong when she disappeared one night. The next morning I saw her, as I looked out my window, coming to my front door. I will never forget the look in her eyes. (I’m feeling very sick as I share this.) Something had eaten parts of her back end. She barely made it to the house. There was no way to save her life. She had already suffered too much for too long. All I could do was cry to my husband and plead to him to please stop her from suffering any longer.

The real world is cruel and harsh. How does a person get used to sleeping through such things, especially when being a light sleeper? I have to leave my windows open quite often. I can’t seem to turn off the pain I feel whenever an animal suffers. I could never be a veterinarian. I don’t have the stomach for hearing cries of pain.

Still in all, I’d rather live in the country than a city. People who scare me are those who think legal American citizens no longer have the right to bear arms.

. . . it’s no wonder I hesitate to use emailing again.

I said hesitate. That doesn’t mean there is no chance I might give it another try.

For decades, I was an Arminian. Afterward, I became a Calvinist. Also for decades, I was a church goer. Afterward, “going to church” passed away from my life. Another decades-long belief I held was that no consideration should be made as to when the end of time will be. Afterward, I independently began to see an opposing view.

I prefer being wiser by finally putting the lesser matters into perspective. To not do so, hinders the more important things in life from getting accomplished.

As of today, I began to realize how much I’ve been impugning the beliefs of others. After this awareness started, I found the sermon Should Christians Proselytize? and read all of it. Now Luke 18:13 weighs heavily on my mind.

Adherence to the golden rule and the two greatest commandments wouldn’t nurture strife, but rather encourage gentleness and meekness.

It’s not my place (or anyone else’s either) to insist on how certain bible verses should be perceived, but it is my duty to share God’s message of salvation while His mercy and grace for mankind still exist. I trust that He will speak to each individual through His written word (that can be visibly read or audibly heard). I do not have a gift for teaching God’s word, nor do I have one for preaching sermons expounding on verses from scripture. What I do have is the habit of doing those two things, because of being responsible for the spiritual well-being of my children.

There are many proclaiming to follow Jesus who not only hate others that differ from them in lesser theological matters (yet these ‘enemies’ have led countless people to Christ), but also these same people harbor hatred towards those who dare to publically refuse to share that same malicious spirit. The bottom line is, “Does the believer abide in the doctrine of Christ?”

[The next paragraph deals with cult members. Christians should have unbelieving friends, but stay away from ungodly practices and worldviews.]

To not abide in the doctrine of Christ means bringing in some error concerning the person or office of the Lord Jesus. Opposers of the Lord Christ’s name and His dignity undermine God’s glory and His kingdom. Any who do not profess and preach the doctrine of Christ, respecting him as the Son of God, and salvation by him from guilt and sin, are not to be noticed and countenanced.¹ Yet in obeying 2 John 1:9-10, we must show kindness and a good spirit to those who differ from us in lesser matters, but hold firmly the all-important doctrines of Christ’s person, atonement, and holy salvation.

Jesus said, “For he that is not against us is on our part.” It is vital to hold fast to the basics of what Christian faith is, so that we don’t give the devil a foothold to divide the family of God.

For decades, I was an Arminian. Afterward, I became a Calvinist. In my post Devotion to Caution, I said Calvinism and Arminianism are basically opposite. There isn’t much wrong with saying a statement like that, at least from what I can tell. However, I’m beginning to think that my going beyond it may have been an example of what God warns His people against doing. Christians are to edify and strengthen the body of Christ. A healthy body is wholesome.

When it comes to the body of Christ, I like how Charles Spurgeon (a believer of election) wisely replied to the question of how he reconciled predestination and man’s free responsibility. He said, “I do not try to reconcile friends.” Quoting Warren W. Wiersbe’s words from his book What to Wear to the War: Studies from Ephesians 6, “In order to be balanced and able to walk as Christians, we need a thorough understanding of all the Bible’s doctrines, teachings and commands.”

For something to be whole, it has to be complete. No component elements or parts can be missing. God will see to it that all of His children will finally be together again someday. It’s just sad that more of us can’t be together while we’re still here in this world.

Also for decades, I was a church goer. I attended a spectrum of denominations — starting with the charismatic speaking-in-tongues flavor, grazing on the reformed range, and retiring my organized fellowship era inside an easy-going (non-speaking-in-tongues) evangelical pasture. Afterward, “going to church” passed away from my life. I’m now reborn into a world undefined by man’s walls. I sort of feel like how you’d imagine a ghost that’s been left behind, waiting to be reunited with its immortal body. I meet other ‘ghosts’ of this same faith on rare occasions, but I don’t get to ‘hang out’ with them in person (What ghost can without having a ‘validated’ body? Is that why ‘I’ have become ‘invisible’ to others inside any ‘visible’ church?). That’s okay, because all spirit-filled believers abide in the Holy Ghost and can fellowship wherever God’s Spirit is.²

Another decades-long belief I held was that no consideration should be made as to when the end of time will be. Afterward, I independently began to see an opposing view. I won’t say more than that any longer. Hopefully no one will make any assumptions about what position I now hold on that issue.

It takes concentration to change the direction of the way you perceive the silhouette of the spinning dancer turning. It also takes concentration to ‘see’ the opposite side of what you believe, especially if you get mesmerized by the one you’re holding for a long time.

One dancer can’t spin in two opposite directions simultaneously. No one can believe two opposite beliefs at the same time either. However, two opposite beliefs can complement one another if you try to understand the other perspective. Perhaps this is why God has designed the bible to be able to function like an illusion, while simultaneously being the source of all truth and reality. How else would Christian faith be put to the test? It isn’t up to Christians to sort out the wheat from the tares or to get bent out of shape whenever someone else isn’t agreeing with us.

If I never wondered how there could be so many different Christian denominations all worshipping the same bible,³ I never would have become as enlightened in understanding how so many people can be as different as they are, while still being basically alike as human beings.

¹This also applies to Christians who have trespassed against you and refuse to confess the wrong they have done. Either the wrongdoer will confess or deny sinning against you. Denial is usually evident by the lack of pleading for forgiveness. Words like “I’m sorry” might be said, but if they are, most likely there won’t be any reference to what the person is sorry about specifically. Words without actions, in this case, are no different from coming to Christ for salvation without evidence of repentance.

Here’s how Oswald Chambers puts it in his book, He Shall Glorify Me,

“I cannot forgive my enemies and remain just unless they cease to be my enemies and give proof of their sorrow, which must be expressed in repentance. I have to remain steadfastly true to God’s justice. There are times when it would be easier to say ‘Oh well, it does not matter, I forgive you,’ but Jesus insists that the uttermost farthing must be paid. The love of God is based on justice and holiness, and I must forgive on the same basis.”

²The bible says much about how spirit-filled believers are to abide in the Holy Ghost, especially during end times. Regardless of what century or millennium it is, being faithful to God requires being obedient to His will.

³Non-denominational churches are a myth. Every church has its own set of common denominators unique to their congregation, but not all have well-defined labels.

A vacation is leisure time away from work (time longer than several hours out of one day) devoted to rest or pleasure. Typically, people perceive work as paid employment. They might not go so far as to say that being unemployed is like being on a vacation, but few would be able to realize I have not been on a vacation in over 30 years.¹ My first day of vacationing, during the past 3 decades, began on June 1st, 2010 (actually it began when I left home the night before). Now that I’m back home and into my regular routine, I can clearly recognize what a vacation is and is not!

While I was on vacation (except for the stressful parts; e.g., motorcycle madness and thunderstorms while far out on a large body of water), I felt enjoyably alive for the first time since childhood! The area I live in, and have spent most of my life growing up in, is nothing like it used to be. Generally and straightforwardly speaking, those who have grown up and live in areas further north than a latitude of 42.66 (longitude 73-74 W) in New York State, are friendlier and nicer people (especially the women). I’ve found that to be true even in the northwest region of Maine. I’m not the only person who thinks so either. My husband’s friend, who has traveled often to these areas, also has this same experience.²

As soon as I’m back in my community, I recognize a lack of a welcoming spirit. When it is seen, it looks phony. In the north, people sit on their porches and wave to everyone passing by. They will freely open up and talk about themselves, along with showing genuine interest in the lives of newcomers. So, naturally, uptight people are a depressing thing to come back to.

Besides leaving behind the more pleasant attitude of those in the north, the clean air, quieter surroundings, and laid-back relaxed pace — all of which had me sleeping properly unlike I can remember having done once upon a time many decades ago — are also left behind. What I did bring back with me was a sunburn, poison ivy, and an infected ankle (from a cut done by hitting a rock underwater). While I was up north, those things didn’t bother me… probably because the daytime temperatures ranged between 60-72 degrees Fahrenheit and it wasn’t humid there. Being hit with the horrid heat and humidity (common for being further south and at a lower elevation level) exasperates whatever is already going to irritate the nervous system.

I knew about the outdoor skin cleanser Tecnu, but was too late in getting a bottle while up north for it to do much good against urushiol. A poison ivy wash that’s way better (and much more expensive!) than Tecnu is Zanfel, but I didn’t even know about it until a week later, which was the first time I ever used it (and it does work!). I think the itch and pain from the poison ivy and sunburn kept me from realizing my ankle was in pain from being infected and was swelling. I began taking doses of Colloidal Silver and also applied it to the cut. The swelling left by the end of the next day and the cut proceeded to heal. Besides those products I’ve just mentioned, a camping first-aid kit should also include: band-aids (maybe some butterflies too), a small bottle of hydrogen peroxide, antiseptic cream, sunblock, a tick removal spoon, tweezers, insect repellent (preferably Deet-free, like White Mountain‘s), and bee sting cure. You can do minor surgical procedures without a doctor!

Adding to the unpleasantries of being back, what I described enduring on the 4th of July, every bit of good that vacationing did for my health rapidly became undone! All I have left is my photographs to confirm to myself that I did at one time, not too long ago, feel alive and looked forward to another day. Now I’m back to working seven days a week at trying to keep from becoming exhausted from things like insomnia, sensory overload, and social isolation. The most depressing aspect of all this comes from learning how the horrible economy, along with an excess in human population (especially dangerous foreigners³) increasing and disrespecting nature with trash, is already showing signs of destroying what little beauty is left in the wilderness areas I (including my children and grandchildren) might have another chance to someday visit again.

¹I went on 3 trips in other years past, but they were not vacations. During those trips, I was working just like I do when I’m home. Work is to exert oneself by doing activity directed toward a purpose or out of necessity.

²Someone I once knew, who traveled around to different parts of the world throughout most of his life, told me that no matter what country it was, those who lived in rural areas were much nicer people than those living in urban ones. That was my experience also when I was in Central America in 1980. The “primitive” natives living on Volcán Barú in Panama were the civilized ones. Those who lived in the cities were nasty in comparison.

³My native “rural” community I continue to live in has it’s own fair share of malicious creeps too that have victims either speaking up years later or never reporting what they’ve gone through. I näively spoke up once about a horrible life-threatening incident I endured when I was young, to the detriment of my own life, and learned to never do that again.

Out of curiosity, I decided to see what opinions exist about blogs without comments enabled. I had no idea how much of a sore spot it is for some people. The impression I get of people who are upset over not being able to leave comments is that they’re spoiled and/or immature (like a child who doesn’t like being told he can’t have something when he wants it). If that wasn’t so, they wouldn’t be verbally malicious towards non-conformists. What ever happened to respecting individuality?

After having read some of the negative opinions about blogs without comments, I got the feeling like I just heard a tempter tantrum. What if I had a hissy fit over all the blogs that enable comments? What would others think of me if I were to express how annoyed I get over wasting my time reading what ends up being mostly meaningless chatter? When I go to a blog, I usually only want to read what the blogger has to say. On rare occasions, I might be curious to see comments (e.g., comments about commenting).

A blog is defined as being a chronological journal, diary, or regular record of your thoughts, opinions, reflections, hobbies, and experiences that you put on the Internet for other people to read. I wonder how many people procrastinate or decide against having a blog because they don’t want a dialog or thread of responses if they were to have a website.

Personally, I appreciate anyone who has the courage to start blogging (regardless of whether or not they have comments enabled), especially relatives and those who live in my neighborhood community. I like visiting sites which reflect local events that have taken place. For example: annual street festivals, community fair days, church events, etc. It’s wonderful to see pictures of those whom I haven’t seen in a long time. If no one bothered to put them online, it would be a sad loss to no longer experience that feeling of connection with the local community.

This blog (especially since it became “Sheila’s Posts” on 3.8.10) will probably never be narrowly focused. Because it’s general, the quality of comments will most likely make enabling them again not worth it. Because this is my personal blog, I don’t care about how many people visit. What counts to me is who my visitors are and why they’re here.

I’m in complete agreement with what Jeremy Keith says in his uncommentable post Comments on community on his Adactio Journal weblog,

Does every little blog post really need to accept comments? Wouldn’t it be better to save them for special occasions? Comments should be disabled 90% of the time.

For comparison, read Robert Nyman’s comment enabled post A blog without comments isn’t really a blog from his Robert’s talk weblog.

Postscript — This post is continued in The Potential Atmosphere of Comments.

Skip the hassles that come with creating an account for MySpace or Facebook. As popular as they may seem to be, they’re not really anything other than online cliques — exclusive online communities like yahoo’s groups and google’s new orkut. What makes them exclusive is how pushy they are to get visitors to create an account. They can also be dangerous, since they make stalking easier for stalkers.

Online communities¹ are like joining a sorority or fraternity in that they require you to sign up before you will be included as an equal. Now Facebook is the most popular to join. I could give my reasons why I’d never join an online community like Facebook or any others that are controlled by people I can not know personally, but I won’t because I already know how self-defensive and offended people can get who belong to such online groups. Most may think I’m paranoid, but that’s fine by me as long as no one can force me to join.

It seems to make more sense to have a blog, if you’re going to have an online presence. Blogs are more pleasant to visit and are usually more attractive. It’s not even possible to view what Facebook users have online unless you’ve got an account. That doesn’t send a friendly message to me about what that person is like. When I know they spend free time on the internet, I can sometimes end up thinking they’re either too scared to blog, too lazy to learn how to create one, and/or too egotistical. Facebook type sites give off too much of a  private club atmosphere.

My guess is that most people don’t feel comfortable to blog because they fear they’re unable to be interesting enough and/or impressive enough. That’s ridiculous! I think the best blogs are those which reflect the blogger as he or she is as a person you’d be becoming acquainted with in person if you were to be friends. The blogs I find most fun to read are not the “educational” or “highly literate” ones that give me the subtle feeling like someone is trying to show off what they know.

The best blogs are the ones where people are being down-to-earth; straightforward and not pretentious. There’s nothing wrong with throwing in somethings you know here and there, but for the most part, a personal blog should express the blogger’s personality and soul. You can tell it’s happening when it’s stirring your emotions, as if you’re laughing along with him or her or whatever he or she may be feeling that day.

Imperfect grammar, inaccurate spelling, and common vocabulary all add to the casual feel. People need to forget about the jerks who might read a blog as if they’re your English teacher or publishing editor. Blogs are not competition.

You can’t be a failure as a writer when you’re blogging, because that’s not what it’s about. It’s about fearlessly sharing who you are.

No one is better than anyone else. Everyone has something in his or her personality that can bring comfort to another human being. We all should know no one can please everyone all the time. However, everyone should also know anyone can please someone sometimes simply by being him or her self where others are able to become acquainted.

I wish every mature and civilized individual would blog in a casual and friendly manner, at least sometimes. It would be a nice way of getting better acquainted with those in one’s own neighborhood (offline community) and enjoying relatives without the kind of stress that can come from being with them in person.

¹Online Communities serve a different purpose than blogs. To me, a blog is often like a personal home. Where you live is usually located on private property. It’s a privilege to be invited over for a visit to where someone lives. Each home has its own way of being and deserves to be respected.

Belonging to an online community is like having a blanket in a public park or a seat at a table for the public community. Online communities are specifically designed for social interaction, but they’re set up like gated communities.

The acting can’t be beat. The plot’s details can’t be predicted. Watching it won’t put you to sleep. Either you can’t watch it or you can’t not watch it. There is no middle ground for this high of a level in entertainment.

From the very first minute I watched Breaking Bad, I was hooked. I entered in near the end of the second season at the part just before Jane suffocates in her vomit during her sleep in bed while Walt stands by undecided whether to save her or let her die. After watching the next episode a week later, I caught up with watching all the previous episodes online and on DVDs rented and borrowed. Next Sunday evening at 10/9c on AMC, the third season begins.

If anyone wonders how someone can call herself a Christian and be attracted to this type of entertainment, s/he probably doesn’t get the point behind what this show is about. It’s about how we deal with life’s problems and the consequences our decisions have on the lives of others.

Entertainment doesn’t have to have Jesus mentioned in order for God to draw a person to him. What’s needed is reality. The reality is any and every human being is capable of falling into the kind of sins like those on Breaking Bad. Whoever thinks otherwise is blinded by his or her own pride.

Throughout each episode of Breaking Bad, I often find myself saying, “Oh no!” After it’s over, I have to spend a little time reading a relaxing book to calm my nerves down or else falling asleep isn’t likely to happen. That’s probably the result of how realistic the story is to what goes on in today’s society and how convincing the actors are in their roles.

The main character, Walter White, is brilliant in the show. Also contained within its production is quite an unusual education to satisfy minds continually wanting cognitive stimulation.

Side notes — My son and son-in-law share the same level of attraction as I have towards this show. Even my daughter enjoys it, but not so much my husband. He’d rather not get the whole picture for reasons I shall not mention.

A wet blanket is someone who spoils the pleasure of others. I’ve always had a few wet blankets around to dampen my pleasures. Maybe that’s why the increasing quantity of them lately are causing me to rethink how I’m spending my time?

After enjoying years of tinkering around with web publishing, my interest in it is over. The main catalyst to blame is my hosting company. Many times I’ve considered publishing the details of what I’ve been (and still am) going through with this lousy company. The trouble basically began last September and has been progressively getting worse. It’s a tie between how poor their service is and how dishonorable they are. Getting locked into a subscription without a money-back option for failures to provide proper service is like doing jail time.

I’ve come close to opening up an account with other hosting companies, but before the final commitment, there was always something to deter me from following it through to completion. I know there is no such thing as a perfect hosting company and I’m well aware of what to realistically expect from shared hosting. In fact, I’ve done so much research while shopping to compare my options that I couldn’t help but finally notice what was really bothering me (beyond the fear of being pushed into wasting money again by getting stuck with a company that refuses to do business fairly).

Just because most other people aren’t disturbed by the potentially low level of risk for headaches from reputable businesses doesn’t mean I’m not. Being that my pet peeve is idle talk and there is no way to prevent the piles of BS commonly passed around these days, it makes no sense for me to stay in an environment where such behavior comes with the territory.

Tech businesses excuse poor management and nurture irresponsibility by telling people they’ve run into technical difficulties. Yes, tech issues happen. But, those problems are ultimately always caused by people. In the case of large hosting companies, it’s usually because they get greedy, too big for their britches, and are able to be irresponsible without having to suffer the consequences. Trouble can also arrive like it does when having too many chefs in the same kitchen, too many chiefs in the same tribe, or too many people working for the government.

Having an excessive amount of patience for too long with too many things is starting to take its toll. There are some benefits though that go along with it. One, for example, is that its consequences seem helpful for sorting things out to make better decisions. Even simply knowing that its best I avoid doing projects others might have the potential to affect what I’m doing makes it easier for me to relax. Only those who have experienced chronic insomnia know how important it is to not stimulate an already hyper-sensitive nervous system.

On January the 30th, I mentioned it had been 60 days since I came to the conclusion that my days for being able to have any form of drug, in any amount, now has intolerable consequences. Now that another month has gone by applying that knowledge, it’s becoming increasing evident how important it is for me to always be strict about guarding what affects my nervous system. As my ability to sleep improves, so does my ability to discern what aggravates my sleep cycle. I’m finding the discovery experience actually quite interesting.

Searching for motives behind why I do what I do (or don’t do it) appears to be a key element behind knowing how to live more abundantly. I could never do such a thing alone. With God’s Holy Spirit, prayer, and His word as stated in the Bible, God makes it possible to introspectively examine self. Ironically, it’s a process that progressively reveals how the right to self ultimately is to blame for getting in the way of making improvements.

God’s providence brings to us the right variety of unpleasant imperfections found in others that we may need to help us overcome our own. So, the next time a wet blanket dampens your spirits, consider the possibility that it’s there for a useful reason.

Postscript added 10 hrs. after publication — I forgot to mention what I’ve experienced from those in other directions in regard to being in a web publishing environment. There are a remnant I find to be respectable, but in my own personal experience (generally speaking), there are too many wet blankets in web publishing forums and too many who displayed an interest in wanting my assistance while at the same time consistently refusing to show any evidence of genuine appreciation.

The level of arrogance to be found among the majority of those who I’ve had to deal with in the realm of web publishing told me it’s no place for a person to be who too often struggles with feeling good enough and has repeated battles with confidence in what she’s doing.

Postscript added on 3.24.10 —I’ve only been using my new hosting provider for 2 1/2 weeks, so maybe I better not be hasty to express my appreciation for their highly satisfactory service so far. However, what I can tell about is how glad I am to no longer be depending upon the previous company I was using for hosting my sites online. If you haven’t read what I said about them before, here it is repeated:

On Saturday March 6th, 2010, Sheila’s Posts began on sheilasposts.com after subscribing to a new hosting server that has its database center managed by a decent company in the USA. Stay away from Netfirms hosting. It is a scam operation being run in Canada by Dan Kershaw.

Before I took the plunge and finally subscribed to a hosting company with a much better reputation, I found many sites online about others sharing their bad experience(s) with Netfirms. The biggest lesson I learned from this experience is to know that if and/or whenever money (and/or pride) is involved, it is always wise to assume the worst first and then look for evidence to prove otherwise. For example, when shopping, look first for the bad reviews. In my case with considering who to use for hosting services, before considering Netfirms, I should have done an online search using the terms Netfirms sucks. Had I done that, I would have stayed far away from them.

When it comes to situations not involving money, as in my offering help to others (e.g., websites) and/or others acting like they’re interested in something about me, I will now always cautiously examine their motive(s) and test for evidence that they’re sincere before I might believe anything they tell me. Instead of being in the habit of letting others ask me questions, I will do the asking (if it seems even worth doing so).

It took me a long time to realize how much others abuse the information I share with them about myself. Blogs are very different from one-on-one conversations. I could explain how so, but I won’t. For starters, this post is long enough.